


Delphinus Major

by grumblebee



Series: Revolutionary Kaiju [1]
Category: Turn - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, F/M, Light Angst, May be explicit later, Self Image Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-07-16 10:09:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7263715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumblebee/pseuds/grumblebee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edmund Hewlett is the last of the reserve officers to be recruited into the dwindling jaeger program. He is paired up with senior pilot Anna Strong. With kaiju attacks increasing exponentially, Edmund must learn to be a jaeger pilot on the job, as well as deal with feelings for his new copilot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Edmund’s hands fidgeted nervously with his seatbelt. His helicopter was making its final descent, and soon he would reach his new home:

The Shatterdome.

The helicopter whirred loudly, drowning out the sweet pitter-patter of rain on the fogged up window. Edmund had noticed that this side of the Pacific never seemed to indulge in sunlight. It was always grey and worrisome. His few hours in Hong Kong had been just as miserable. Edmund balled up his sleeve in his fist, trying desperately to wipe down the window long enough to get a look at his new home.

The Shatterdome was massive; intimidating even. It rose high above the waves and rocks, and seemed to be all nooks and grooves. Unending metal that housed God-like weaponry. With another frantic wiping gesture, Edmund could make out the shape of figures running to and fro in the downpour. Pallets and containers were being sped across the Tarmac, and a handful of figures were obscured by large sleek umbrellas. Edmund could feel his heart catch in his throat.

Five years ago this moment would have made Edmund’s heart soar. But the war had casualties, both on and off the coast. His promising jaeger career in Manila was abruptly cut off during a kaiju raid. Trying to head to an emergency bunker he was hit with debris from a falling window, and the aftermath claimed two of his toes. Edmund watched years of training get shirked, and he was at the bottom of the list of reserves. Now all those reserves had been depleted. Five years and the jaeger program was scraping the bottom of the barrel for people like Edmund; discarded people who were easy to mourn while the Wall of Life was being completed.

The helicopter touched down with a startling bump, and Edmund was shaken from his memories. The pilot gave the a-ok to disembark, and Edmund headed out into the downpour with his head tucked down.

He was greeted by the sight of two tall gentlemen, each huddled under their own umbrella. The first was so tall, Edmund wondered if he would strain his neck speaking with him. The other was slightly shorter, but slender and fit looking. Edmund quickened his pace to meet the men.

“Edmund Hewlett. A pleasure to finally meet you.”

The taller man had a whiskey smooth voice, and dark penetrating eyes. Edmund felt hypnotized by its sheer intensity.

The man must have picked up on Edmund’s internal distress, and proceeded to introduce himself.

“I am General Washington, and my cohort here is Major John Andre. You will be directly under us in the jaeger program.”

Edmund nodded his head, still unable to form words. The man identified as John Andre spoke next.

“We’ve looked at your file, Hewlett. You had a very promising career before your accident. It's a lot to ask, but we need pilots like you now more than ever.” He said warmly. Edmund smiled meekly, taking some comfort in hearing a familiar accent.

“Thank you for accepting me.”

Major Andre smiled, and eyed Edmund with amusement.

“A quiet one, I see. All the best. General Washington here isn't a man of many words either.”

There was a chuckle from General Washington as he clapped a strong hand down on Edmund’s shoulder. Edmund felt small under his touch, but held eye contact. General Washington’s gaze was warm.

“Are you ready to meet your jaeger?”   
\--  
Inside the Shatterdome was just as bustling as the Tarmac. Wet slicked floors glistened as crew members sped around wildly. Edmund felt as if he were swept up in an enormous tide; the Shatterdome a raging current of adrenaline and expertise.

Major Andre guided him to the main floor. The brief scent of mildew was overcome by the stronger aroma of smoldering iron.

“Welcome to the miracle floor, Hewlett”

Edmund stood stunned. He had felt dwarfed in the presence of Andre and Washington, but this was truly something else. Standing tall was a colossus of a miracle machine. It had once been a sleek red, now scuffed and marred by countless kaiju claw marks. It's massive arms were swarmed by engineers on high catwalks, tirelessly welding new material to the torn shoulder.

“This is Mercy Depths. One of the T-30’s. First to switch over to digital. Truly a massive machine…” Andre trailed off as he was approached by a woman wearing a jaeger pilot jumpsuit. “Here’s her captain now. Edmund Hewlett this is---”

“Mary Woodhull!” Edmund blurted, rather loudly.

Mary had reached them, tipping her head at the sound of her name.

“I’m… I’m sorry. It's just… You climbed out of your jaeger and shot a kaiju in the face”

Mary smiled, and reached out to shake his hand. “I'll never live that down, I see. You must be our new recruit. You've done your research.”

Edmund felt flustered, and eagerly shook her small hand. “I’m terribly sorry about your husband.”

Mary gave a sympathetic shrug, motioning to the jaeger behind her. “He knew the risks. All part of the job. Don't fear for me, I've actually gotten along quite splendid with my new partner. We go hand in glove.”

Andre chuckled, scanning the floor. “And where is Miss Shippen?”

Mary pulled back some loose strands of hair, tucking them behind her ears. “Not here I’m afraid. Probably accosting someone in R&D”

Edmund followed their gaze around, taking notice that at sometime during their introduction, General Washington had been spirited away to discuss other matters. Edmund could see the top of his reddish brown hair through the crowd.

“Hewlett, let's keep it moving, shall we? Jam packed day for you today.”

Edmund blushed but offered his goodbyes to Mary as Andre led him away.

The next jaeger was immense. It’s massive chest span held exposed whirring blades, all of which were being refitted and resharpened. The shower of embers that cascaded down lit Edmund’s vision aflame. He was barely aware of how intense he was staring at it.

“Beautiful isn't she? This is the top tier of jaeger technology. Seta Five; 295 feet, 8,000 tons of brutal war machine. 50 drops, 49 kills. A jaeger record.”

“49?---”

Edmund didn't get to finish his question,as Andre was perched on his toes and nodding to someone far beyond Edmund’s shoulder.

“You're in luck, Edward---”

“Edmund”

“--- here comes her pilot. General Washington’s pride and joy, Benjamin Tallmadge.”

Edmund couldn't help but feel there was some sarcasm dripping from that statement, but as he turned he was greeted by an awesome sight; Ben Tallmadge. Edmund had never actually seen a picture of him, but his name frequented the news on an almost weekly basis. He stood tall, with sleek blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and impossibly pink lips. My god, he was so young. 49 kills? 49 fucking kills? General Washington strode beside him, sporting a look of total adoration. It made sense. If you had to pick a favorite, Ben Tallmadge was jaeger gold. Edmund suddenly felt old and sickly next to this model of a man.

“Oh Christ, am I missin’ one of Benny Boy’s hero walks?”

The voice startled Edmund. Turning quickly, he was greeted by the sight of a short, stocky man. He was holding onto a powdered donut, though most of it was finding its way into his wild unkempt beard.

Andre laughed, and clapped a hand onto the man’s shoulder.

“This is Caleb Brewster, the other pilot of Seta Five.”

The gears in Edmund’s mind seemed to grind to a halt. This man was drift compatible with Ben Tallmadge?

“I see what you're thinkin’ an’ I feel it too. Why am I compatible with Captain America over there, right?” He was pointing a powder coated finger at Ben, who was steadily coming closer.

“Me an’ Benny grew up together. Nice thing about Benny--- he didn't become a total arse after he got pretty. Wouldn't have mattered anyway. I remember when he used to piss the bed an’ that just takes the romance out of it---”

“Caleb!”

Ben had reached their little group. He was scowling, and his cheeks burned bright red. Edmund tried his hardest to suppress a smile.

“Oh relax, will ya? You don't piss it anymore.”

Edmund was surprised to see that General Washington was struggling to hold a straight face as well. He settled on speaking to break the tension.

“Mr. Hewlett, I see you have met Caleb Brewster. As he’s so….colorfully eluded, he and Benjamin hold one of the strongest drift compatibilities on record. It's attributed to their massive success.”

Ben gathered himself together and shook Edmund’s hand firmly.

“I hear you have a great simulator record, Hewlett. We need that kind of eye in one of these jaegers.”

Edmund was taken aback. He had read and researched on many jaeger pilots, it had never occurred to him that they might have researched him back. And from the closeness he could observe between Ben and General Washington, he wondered if they had discussed his promotion together.

“Thank you. I hope I meet your expectations.”

Ben smiled, and gave a quick nod.

“Not to be rude, but Caleb and I have to review the updates to Seta Five. I’ll see you on the floor, Hewlett.”

Ben grabbed Caleb’s arm tightly with what Edmund presumed was leftover embarrassment. As they walked down towards their jaeger, Ben leaned close to Caleb and whispered a few words in his ear. Caleb immediately reared his head around and called out to Edmund.

“Good luck with Annie!”

Edmund’s brow lifted as he watched Ben slap Caleb’s arm repeatedly. He could faintly hear him calling Caleb a blabber mouth.

“I believe it's time you met your jaeger.” Washington chuckled.  
\--  
At the end of the row was one final jaeger. Edmund marveled at the sheer size. This one seemed larger than life; maybe because unlike Mercy Depths or Seta Five, this one was his.   
Never in his life did Edmund imagine he would set eyes on a jaeger of his own.

It stood 289 feet tall, with tarnished gold paint adorning the scratched up hull. Edmund spied compartment doors along the arms and chest of the machine, and felt an itch of curiosity. He desperately wanted to get inside and explore his new body.

“Edmund Hewlett, meet Delphinus Major. Hybrid nuclear-digital jaeger. The last of its kind.”

Washington kept his summary brief, letting Edmund drink in the sight of it all.

Edmund was holding his breath. It was a glorious machine; one that both shattered his sense of self, and raised him to the status of God. He was completely rapt; mesmerized by each and every ding in the hull.

A firm hand on his shoulder shook him out of his stupor.

“You’re eager. I admire that. However, you won't be able to get inside until you’re set up with your partner.”

Edmund felt a cold sweat break on his forehead. He turned his gaze upwards towards the stern eyes of Washington.

“Who, may I ask, is Annie?”


	2. Anna Strong's Candidate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edmund meets Anna, and gets a special lunch invite.

  
“Who, may I ask, is Annie?”

Edmund’s voice felt weak in his throat. There was a sudden wave of realization and numbing fear. He was actually going to be a jaeger pilot. This massive mechanical exoskeleton could very well be his tomb. All of that would be fine for Edmund, except that he wouldn't be able to stomach the thought that he had ended his copilot’s life as well. Just hearing a name brought a hazy shape next to him. A shape he’d meld with uncontrollably.

Andre motioned toward the exits and the three of them started off.

“Senior pilot Anna Strong. Her and her husband Selah Strong piloted Delphinus Major until 6 months ago. Selah was tragically killed when a kaiju knocked their jaeger off a cliff side. Selah suffered blunt force trauma and died in the suit.”

Andre’s tone was dark. He had stopped making eye contact, keeping his gaze toward the floor.

“Anna had to wait for the jaeger to be repaired. During these 6 months we’ve tried to drift her with 8 other candidates. None of them took. Those candidates, as you may suspect, are no longer with us. The PPDC wants to forcibly retire Anna, but seeing as she still wants to fight--and is able bodied to do so-- it is our duty to assign her a new partner.”

Edmund felt sick. Not only had he been a last resort, but there were odds stacked that he couldn't even be drift compatible with their pilot. He tried to ignore the prickling sensation of tears in his eyes.

“I know this is difficult. The best thing to do is to be yourself. Lying won't help you in the drift. Pretending you're someone else will only make it harder. Anna Strong is in room 2691. It is best of you go down there alone and make yourself known before word spreads.”

Edmund nodded his head weakly, accepting a folder full of papers Andre had forced into his hands.

“Here is everything you need to know about your machine. Do the right thing.”

Washington laid a firm hand on Edmund’s shoulder, offering a supportive squeeze.

“Don’t be stupid. Don't call her Annie.”   
\--  
Room 2691 lay in the middle of a long corridor deep in the Shatterdome. It had never occurred to Edmund that the base itself would be a functioning kaiju shelter, but that became clear as he descended deeper. The numbers in the service elevator were in reverse order, and jaeger pilots were located on floor 2. Floor 2 was right above the basement, and 5 whole floors of ground, cement, and steel away from the surface. A perfect place to stash vital pilots.   
Still, Edmund felt he would miss natural sunlight, however little of it trickled through the overcast.

Each door looked as if it could withstand a nuclear blast, and Edmund fretted over his ability to even open one. A wayward water droplet dropped down into his head, and the mildewy smell had returned to his nostrils.

“Room 2691”

Edmund could hear the faint sounds of someone listening to music through the steel door. Anna was definitely in; whether or not she would answer his knock was up for grabs. Edmund prepared himself while he still had the chance. He took some deep breaths, and frantically wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers. He was sure he looked deranged.

Hesitantly, Edmund balled up his fist and tapped on the door. There were a few moments of horrific terror. Anna’s music was playing softly, and Edmund groaned at the thought of having to knock on the door again. Then, abruptly, the music stopped and he heard approaching footsteps. The door opened with a start.

“Was that you?”

Edmund’s breath caught in his chest. The woman who had answered the door was unlike anyone he had met before. Her eyes were deep and brown, and her hair was thrown into a messy bun that left loose strands to frame her face. Her gaze was penetrating, as if she were engaging with the wall right through him. Edmund quickly tried to regain his composure.

“T-the knock--”

“The groan.”

Edmund’s cheeks burned hotly. Had he groaned that loud?

“I did, uh, make a noise. I'm sorry, I’m being rude. My name is Edmund Hewlett. I'm a new recruit. I’m supposed to try and drift with you.”

Anna’s eyes searched his, skeptical.

“You’re supposed to drift---”

“...With you”

“You want me to drift with you”

“With...me...yes”

Edmund felt embarrassed. Of all the words he could have chosen, he chose “drift”. His stomach turned at the thought. He must look like an idiot, propositioning a widowed pilot like this.

Anna slightly shook her head.

“Well, Mr. Hewlett… I’m sorry to have wasted your time. You see I've done this 8 other times with men much more tactful than yourself. I'm unable to drift.” Anna said, starting to close the door.

Edmund tried to hold back tears. He was well aware that he wasn't as youthful or powerful as pilots like Ben, but damned all if he wasn't going to try.

“Yes, but I have something those 8 other candidates don't.”

Anna paused curiously, though her hand was ready to slam the door. “And what would that be?” She asked incredulously.

“A pulse.”

To his surprise, a small chuckle escaped Anna. The door widened a bit.

“That's wretched. I suppose you've got that over my husband too.”

Edmund’s confidence faltered. He hadn't meant to insult her dead husband. Yet her demeanor had changed, and the comment didn't sound hurtful. It sounded almost...playful.

“I meant no disrespect. I only ask that you give me a fair chance to become your copilot.”

Anna bit her lip, and Edmund had to stop himself from staring. She was truly a sight to behold. Her eyes were cast downward in thought, and her fingers tapped the door impatiently.

“Fine. You’ll need to pass the physical combat exam. I know General Washington wants to expedite this process but I can't get into another jaeger unless I am fully confident were are compatible.”

Edmund nodded his head, trying to suppress another wave of panic. Anna seemed to pick up on his distress.

“It's for your own safety too. Unless you’d like to lose your advantage over those 8 other candidates.”

Edmund laughed. Despite her cold welcome, he liked Anna. He just needed to prove that he could be a suitable copilot.

“Then I shall request an exam at your earliest convenience. I won’t let you down, Mrs.Strong” Edmund said, his voice a bit chipper. Anna smiled softly, and smoothed back some wild flyaways.

“I look forward to it…” She said, closing the door, “... And call me Anna.”

Edmund stood in the empty hallway, the dripping sound returning along with his regular heartbeat.

“Anna….”

\---  
Edmund rose to a quick succession of knocks on his door. He dropped a pile of clothes back into his pack and rushed to the door. Secretly, he had hoped it was Anna. Edmund pulled the door open as his visitor started a second round of knocking.

“Hey! Edmund, right?”

It was Caleb, looking a little less covered in powdered sugar than before.

“Hello, Caleb. Am I needed somewhere?”

Caleb clapped his hands together, a large smile on his face.

“Lunch, pal! I assume Andre didn't tell you where to chow down, and I was millin’ around down here anyways. You're gonna miss all the good stuff if you don't hurry.”

Edmund smiled. He appreciated Caleb’s warm demeanor. In actuality, Edmund had already studied the floor plans in his folder, and memorized meal times; yet his guest made him feel welcome and at home.

“I’ll come right away”

“Atta boy! Let’s walk.”

Edmund was pulled out of his dorm, his arm firmly locked in Caleb’s grip. To passers-by, they could have passed for two good friends--- arms linked and in step.

“So I hear you talked to Annie. How’d it go?” Caleb whispered, almost giddily. Edmund blushed, the memories of his awkward first encounter with Anna surfacing again.

“She was very gracious. I'm to set up a physical exam right away.”

Caleb shook Edmund’s arm with excitement. “It's already set! Ah, I didn't want to spoil it for you but ol’ Benny boy told me he was in the room when Anna called the big man himself. You must have really made an impression on her. The last couple guys we sent through there practically wet themselves. One guy came back with a nasty shiner.”

Edmund felt a swell of pride. Despite his faltering, Anna had become taken with him as a potential candidate. He felt humbled that he was important enough to merit a call to General Washington.

“We haven't had someone this hopeful in a long time. You’re sittin’ at the table with the big boys today.” Caleb beamed.

The two crammed into a service elevator, and Caleb pressed the button for floor 5. Edmund braced himself for the jolt in the elevator. Caleb was strumming his fingers on Edmund’s arm.

“Annie probably won't be joinin’ us, just so you know. She’s been a little cut off since Selah died. Don't take offense if she just grabs her plate n’ runs.”

Edmund felt a pang of guilt. For a brief moment he considered turning down Caleb’s offer to sit with the pilots and join Anna instead. However, he quickly shoved that thought aside. It was far too bold, and his relationship with her was far too fragile. Overstep his boundaries or invade her space, and the whole thing would come crashing down. Still, it carved a hole in his heart to think that she spent meal after meal alone in her room.

The cafeteria was bustling, and Edmund’s senses were flooded by a barrage of tantalizing aromas. His eyes widened as he watched crew members float by holding trays piled with food. They crowded around the service stations, trays clasped tight in their hands. The food seemed unreal, like an ad. It was all so surreal.

“Like what you see, Edmund?”

Edmund let out a laugh.

“My god, is that steak? It's been ages!”

Caleb laughed, and placed a few strips onto Edmund’s plate. “Welcome to the top tier, buddy. Rations gotta go somewhere, eh? I always leave with my fair share”

“That’s why you're the biggest pilot here”

Edmund turned to see Ben Tallmadge playfully shoving Caleb. His plate was neatly arranged, with only a few items; some meats, sautéed greens, and bread and cheese.

“I think you mean smartest. You're not going to get fed like this off base. Besides, it's not my fault you gotta watch your plate. Wouldn't want those tight little pants to get any tighter.”

Ben hip checked Caleb, who somehow managed to save his plate from certain doom.

“Ass” Ben laughed

“We know. We’ve seen it.”

Edmund couldn't help but laugh along with them. It was infectious. He hurriedly piled more food into his plate and followed them to a table.

Mary Woodhull was working on a bowl of oatmeal, accompanied by another woman. She was slender and blonde, and picking at her plate of pasta. As they approached her eyes lit up.

“My, my. You must be Edmund Hewlett.”

Edmund felt a little flustered by all the attention. He sat across from her at the long communal table.

“Yes, I am. I didn't have the chance to meet you before, Miss…?”

“Peggy Shippen. Mary and I pilot Mercy Depths. I've heard so much about you already. You've made quite a splash around here.”

Edmund pushed his food around on his plate. The nervous feeling in his stomach trumped his hunger. He wished for a break in the conversation.

“Good things, I hope?”

“Very good things actually. Word is Anna called up General Washington himself to get your compatibility test in motion. Very promising. I'm impressed, Edmund.” Peggy cooed. She was a very sociable woman, Edmund could tell. Precisely the type of person he had the most trouble keeping up with. Edmund hoped she wouldn't pick up too quickly on his social misgivings. The conversation grinded to a halt, however, as another topic smothered their line of thought.

“Is that oatmeal?”

Mary looked up from her bowl, an eyebrow raised. “Yeah, what of it, Caleb”. Caleb was intensely focused on her plate.

“That's all you’re having for lunch, Mary?”

“Yeah it's good for you”

“For breakfast, sure but this is lunch.”

Ben swallowed a bite of his bread and cheese before interjecting himself into the fray. “Caleb, the woman shot a kaiju in the face. If she wants oatmeal, let her have oatmeal.”

“...I'm a bit surprised you don't have my back on this. No one here appreciates a good meal...except for you,Edmund.”

Peggy started to suppress a laugh, and threw a wink at Edmund. He nearly dropped his fork. He felt rather gluttonous, but he honestly had been deprived of real meat for so long that the motion was almost involuntary.

Peggy reached across the table and plucked a piece of prosciutto off of Ben’s plate, eliciting an annoyed moan from Ben. She quickly shoved it into her mouth.

“You picked pasta, live with pasta.”

Peggy huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Please darling, it's all salt. I'm doing you a favor. We must look good for the General, don't we?”

Ben’s face flushed red. Caleb swatted the air lazily, a mischievous grin on his face.

“You look a little flustered, Benny Boy. Maybe you should loosen those pants--”

“I'll loosen your teeth, Caleb.”

Edmund wasn't aware of how hard he was biting his lower lip. He noticed Mary visibly shaking with laughter, trying not to choke on her oatmeal.

“Don’t encourage them, Edmund, they're horrible.” Ben said tersely. He had reached over to Caleb’s plate and bitterly touched all of Caleb’s steak strips.

“Get your filthy hands off my meat, Tallmadge!”

Mary now had her hand tightly clamped over her mouth, laughing hysterically. Edmund couldn't help but laugh along. Peggy reached across the table and patted Edmund’s hand.

“It doesn't hurt to laugh. Knocking Ben down a few pegs is good for the soul. He’s too pretty for his own good.”

Ben was laughing (to Edmund’s relief), and picked up his now empty tray, using it to swat Caleb’s sticky hands away.

“If you vultures are done here, I've got work to do. Edmund, stay classy. The rest of you, fuck off.” he chimed, flipping off Caleb in particular before heading towards the exit. Caleb turned his body to call after Ben.

“But this is our favorite part! It's so much fun to watch you walk away!”

The second hand embarrassment from the barrage of wolf whistles almost sent Edmund’s head to the table. Ben covered his ass with the tray, speeding out to avoid the spectacle.

With Ben gone, and the giggles out of their system, Edmund’s cohorts returned to their food. Mary finally swallowed whatever oatmeal she had been battling with, and shot him a smile.

“Welcome to the team, Edmund”

Welcome indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of tom foolery between jaeger pilots makes my world go round. I couldn't help but tease Ben. He's really used to it, and he's never really pissed off. Just very very embarrassed.


	3. Drift Compatible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edmund faces Anna for his physical combat exam.

Edmund tied his shoelaces for the 34th time that morning. Everything felt strange and off. One shoe a little tighter than the other, weird hems rubbing against his skin, the collar of his crew neck strangling him. Everything on his body felt wrong and unseemly. He had awoken early to shower and stretch before his physical combat exam, but did not expect getting dressed to give him this much stress. The largest portion of the anxiety came from the toe of his right boot, which was 2/5ths lighter than it should be.

Breakfast didn't go down at all. He choked on a dry piece of toast and barely touched his glass of water. No caffeine today, he’d explode.

In about 15 minutes he’d be in a dojo, surrounded by fellow pilots and crew, and expected to fight Anna Strong. Not being a very good public speaker, Edmund could only imagine the horrific stage fright he’d encounter just shuffling out to the middle of the mat. He tried to push the thought aside, and instead focused on his treacherous toast.

The rest of the walk to the dojo felt strangely numb, as if Edmund were walking alongside himself. He imagined himself walking proudly, with the certain win in his hands. It didn't help that a loose tile sent him stumbling forward on his bad foot, resulting in the gut wrenching reminder of his actual self. Slow, last to be picked, deformed.

The door to the dojo was open, bringing with it the smell of sweat and antiseptic. It churned Edmund’s stomach. The closer he got to the light the more he felt his insides twist. A shameful part of him considered leaving. He could live with disappointing himself, but he couldn't bear the thought of public failure.

“Edmund---”

Edmund let out a small shout as a hand from behind grasped his shoulder. He reeled around to find Mary Woodhull. Her hand was now withdrawn towards her chest, and she looked visibly startled.

“I'm sorry, Edmund. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that.”

Edmund’s heart rate slowed from “impending heart attack” back down to “nervously strung out”. He felt horrible.

“I'm terribly sorry, Mary. It’s not you...really. It’s just-- I’m---” he gestured pathetically towards the open doors to the dojo.

Mary smiled, and held out her hand. She was motioning for Edmund to take it. Feebly, he slipped a sweaty palm into her small outstretched hand. Reaching into her pocket, Mary produced a fine black sharpie. She bit off the cap and quickly scribbled something onto the back of Edmund’s hand. Turning his hand over, Edmund saw a boldly scribbled check mark; the kind you’d see teachers use to mark their papers.

“There. You’re vouched. Nothing to worry about.”

Edmund stammered a bit, unable to ask what exactly just happened. Mary had returned the marker to her pocket.

“It's for good luck. Tradition. A jaeger pilot vouches you before an exam, and you do just fine. Caleb vouched me. Ben vouched Anna. I vouched you.”

Edmund looked down at his hand once more.   
“You shouldn't have...I’m…”

“Hopeless? You're not.” Mary took his hand again and patted the mark.

“When you’re vouched, you're not just part of some silly ritual to help you pass. You’re trusted. In more ways than one, my life is in your hands. Now people know you carry that trust.”

Mary’s petite frame started to blur, and Edmund frantically wiped away the oncoming tears.

“This is an honor, truly, Mary. I can't thank you enough.”

Edmund felt her hands take him by the shoulder and gently turn him towards the open doors.

“Go, don't be late. We’ll be cheering you on.”

Mary slipped ahead of him and into the crowd he could see lining the edge of the dojo.

Edmund took a moment to trace the outline of his vouch. He closed his eyes, and took a few deep breaths. He was ready.

Inside the room there was the deafening buzz of conversation. Edmund’s first glance around the room landed on Ben and Caleb, both of them giving him a smile or a thumbs up. His second glance brushed past Peggy, who had reunited with Mary. The two of them linked arms, whispering happily to one another.

For a split moment, Edmund felt the room tune out as he looked at the faces of the pilots. He had known them less than 24 hours, and yet they had been warm and generous. They were a founded family protected by steel and cement, but left their door open to him. His heart left behind its fear, and his marked hand seared with newfound courage. This was it. A new home, a new family.

“General Washington on the floor”

Edmund’s heart nearly popped. The General strode into the room, Andre traipsing alongside. The room has gone silent, and Edmund tried not to visibly shake as he took of his shoes and headed onto the mat. He had opted to keep his grip socks on, self conscious about his mangled foot.

Washington stood at the opposite entrance to the dojo.

“We all know why we’re here so let's make this quick. Edmund Hewlett, you are taking your physical compatibility test. This test will determine if you possess the mental and physical capability to drift with Senior pilot Anna Strong. Mrs. Strong, would you please enter the dojo.”

From behind Washington, Edmund could see Anna. For a split second, she looked just as terrified as he was. However, her face set to stone as she dropped her boots and headed towards the center of the mat. An attendant rushed out and handed them each a long wooden staff.

“3 points ends the match. Begin.”

Anna gave the staff a quick turn, sounding off immediately after the command. Edmund felt the staff slap painfully against his thigh.

“1 point” Anna huffed

Shaking himself from his stupor, Edmund rocked back on his heels, powering himself forward towards Anna. The clacking was deafening as his staff met Anna’s over and over. Each attack was countered beautifully, and Edmund started to feel like it was more of a dance than a battle. Suddenly, Anna turned rapidly, causing Edmund to pivot on his bad toe. His loss of balance was aided by the jab of Anna’s staff in his lower back, causing him to tumble to the floor.

“2-0”

Edmund felt the heat rise to his face. The tension in the room was palpable. People had begun to exchange nervous glances and murmur amongst themselves. Not brave enough to meet her eyes, Edmund gazed at Anna’s legs. She was waiting for him to rise, and take her next strike. She shifted her weight onto her left foot----

Her foot jerked.

It was subtle, but Anna quickly returned her weight to her right side. Edmund felt his heart race, and a surge of adrenaline take him over. He had found his move.

Edmund sprung to his feet, taking a long swing at Anna’s right side. The staff made contact with Anna’s hip, knocking her off balance and onto her left leg. Edmund noticed a wince cross her shining face.

“2-1” Edmund said, trying his hardest to muffle the fear in his voice.

Anna came back with a fury. Returning to her good leg, she swung back her staff and lunged towards Edmund. His staff made contact with the wood, causing a vibration so strong Edmund almost dropped his weapon. His grip faltered as he looked into Anna’s eyes. She was livid; both vulnerable and wild, to the point that Edmund could feel her own rage seeping into him. It tugged at his heartstrings and set his lungs on fire. She wanted to prove that she was not a lonely widow. That she was strong, redeemable, worth something more than what she was given. She wanted what he wanted. She wanted to fight.

Edmund pushed back hard against her staff, once again focusing on the vulnerability of her left leg. Anna’s grip slipped, and Edmund took his shot to swing the staff and tap her hard on her upper left shoulder.

“2-2”

Excitement had returned to the crowd. The room buzzed with crew members egging on the fight. This was the closest anyone had ever gotten. They knew it.

Anna’s jaw was clenched so tightly Edmund feared she would shatter her teeth. They met at the center of the mat, the repeating sounds of clacking so immense that Edmund could hardly hear the crowd work up into a roar.

Anna was close to his face, arms blazing and ready to mow him down, putting him on defense. Edmund was so focused on her staff that he barely noticed her foot until it had hooked his right ankle and was dragging it out from under him. His heart dropped into his stomach as he felt himself falling back towards the floor. In a last grasp attempt, Edmund thrust the staff upward towards Anna, just as he felt his back hit the floor.

His staff pressed underneath her chin, and hers was firmly planted in the middle of his chest. Edmund looked up into Anna’s eyes, and his vision blurred; he could see...himself. It was as if he were looking through Anna’s dark eyes, gazing down at a panting and sweating version of himself he didn't recognize. Edmund blinked, and his vision returned to his body. Standing above him was Anna. Her features had softened, lips apart and breathing heavily. Edmund felt a flutter in his chest. She was divine; crowned by the light and shining like an angel. Her gaze was soft, and tender. Had she seen what he had seen? Switched bodies and gazed back at her own visage?

Washington cleared his throat.

“3-3 tie. Mrs.Strong----”

“I've made my decision, sir. Edmund Hewlett will be my co-pilot”

The dojo erupted into celebration. Mary and Peggy were jumping up and down, their praises drowned out by the crowd. Edmund hadn't averted his eyes from Anna’s, and a laugh of sheer joy and relief escaped him. Anna smiled down at him, and offered him a hand up.

“Mrs. St--- Anna. Anna you will not be disappointed, I promise you.” Edmund babbled, his whole being trembling with delight. For the first time since their meeting, Anna let out a laugh. It was sweet, and breathy. Her cheeks were flushed and rosy, framed by those lovely wisps of hair that fell from her bun. Edmund was truly thankful that he could blame his blush on their match. His heart had not stopped its relentless fluttering, and his hand in Anna’s felt electrifying. Oh how he wished she would not let go of his hand.

“Edmund…”

His name on her lips sounded like music. His whole body betrayed him, and he felt so tender and small under her gaze. Anna’s thumb brushed lightly across his hand, sending more sparks through his body. His mouth felt dry and ashy, and he struggled to return a word.

“Anna…”

And suddenly their grip was torn apart by the celebration. Caleb grabbed Anna by the shoulders and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. “This is it, Annie! That was amazing!”

Mary and Peggy were pulling on Edmund’s shirt, sharing infectious praises and cheering. Ben handed him a towel.

“That wasn't so bad, was it? See? He was vouched and everything.”

Mary was beaming. “ A fine addition to our little family. Edmund, my son!”

Anna laughed and grabbed a towel hanging off of Peggy’s shoulder. “He’s older than you, Mary. Besides, isn't that a bit rude to little Thomas?”

Mary swatted her hand in Anna’s face, catching her nose a few times. “Don't talk to me or my sons again”

More laughter. Edmund had hardly spoken, the reality of it all seeping in. This was his new family. Caleb, Mary, Peggy, Ben...Anna; all part of the same steel and cement home. Only now he was a part of it. He was no longer looking in through windows, catching glimpses of the life they shared. He had crossed a threshold and found a family; something he hadn’t had in years.

The crowd was filtering out, Washington and Andre long gone from the dojo. Anna slipped her arm around Edmund’s, and guided him towards the door with the help of the other pilots.

“Let’s grab a bite, Edmund. I'm curious to get to know you.”

Edmund’s face flushed. “Y-you mean you’ll be eating with us?” he stammered, catching a glimpse of Caleb flashing a thumbs up.

“Not them. Just you.”

His heart fluttered again, and he tightened his grip on Anna’s arm.

“I'd love to.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly love writing Mary as a supportive kind friend and it kills me!!  
> Starting to get that warm fuzzy annlett feeling too.


	4. Chasing the rabbit

Something about the way Anna eats makes Edmund laugh. Maybe it's the way she arranges her tray so that everything is within quick reach. Maybe it's the fact that he got his ass handed to him by someone who wholeheartedly wanted a grilled cheese and chocolate milk for lunch. Mostly, it's the fact that she took him to a special spot away from the bustle of the cafeteria.

Anna and Edmund sat side by side in the floor near the metal chain link of a high catwalk overlooking the jaeger floor. From up here the crew members looked like ants dancing in the light of embers. It took a few minutes for him to work up the courage to even glance down. They were close to 300 feet above the floor, just barely above the head of their own towering jaeger. Edmund couldn't help but marvel at it.

“You must be excited, Edmund. We’ll be in it soon.” Anna said, motioning down to Delphinus Major. Edmund picked at the sandwich in his lap, which was coming undone the closer he got to the end.

“I've dreamed of this for so long. I could never imagine making it this far…” He sighed. It prompted a curious look from Anna.

“You seem fine to me, but then again, I’ll know very soon. I want to take this as the chance to introduce yourself before I get all of you.”

Edmund fidgeted uncomfortably. Anna was right. Their first drift would be a tell-all. Nervously, he cleared his throat. “Is it bad? Drifting, I mean.”

Anna took a long swig of her chocolate milk, mulling over the question. “It's...familiar.” She said, dragging out the word as if she herself were struggling to define it.

“It's like being with your best friend, and all of a sudden wondering how you became so close. How you went from being strangers to being extensions of the same person over the time of your friendship. Have you ever felt like that?”

Edmund nodded. “I've had one or two good friendships.” In all honesty, Edmund was pretty sheltered. His shyness kept him from making new friends, and those he had never considered him part of their inner circle. He felt disappointed that Anna’s analogy didn't bring him much comfort.

Anna rested a hand on his, patting it for reassurance. “In an instant, you're going to have what most people couldn't share in a lifetime. Double...actually” Anna’s voice trailed off softly, as if remembering something.

“Your husband….” Edmund said quietly. “Will I see him?”

Anna nodded, tears starting to well up in her eyes. “Yes, and so will I, I’m afraid.” She looked heartbroken and Edmund contemplated switching topics. Anna spoke up again. “I threw away all the pictures of us. I couldn't preserve the memory. Things are very real in the drift, Edmund. They look and feel and smell as they should. I'm afraid of facing Selah. I'm afraid of seeing him standing there, and not being able to pass by him through the drift.”

The words hung in the air, and Edmund felt sick. He set his meal aside to take Anna’s hand in both of his. Her hand felt frail and tiny, and Edmund cradled it as if he were handling glass.

“We will face him together.”

Anna’s hand relaxed in his, and the warmth seemed to radiate through his body. She looked up at him with big dewy eyes. Edmund’s heart skipped a beat. He felt his cheeks flush, but couldn't force himself to break their gaze. She was truly beautiful. And soon...they'd be one and the same. The thought made his heart race. Some divine force must be on his side for him to be drift compatible with someone like her.

“MRS.STRONG”

The two jumped back, painfully aware of how close they were leaning into each other. Edmund quickly withdrew his hands into his lap. He followed Anna’s gaze all the way down to the ground floor, where General Washington was standing. At least it had to be…right? Edmund squinted, trying to make out where in the crowd he was. The voice was shouting over the speakers.

“Report to Deck C and suit up! Drift stimulation in 15!”

Anna stood up on the scaffold, waving her arms in a way to indicate “A-OK”. A loud sigh came from over the crackly speaker next to them.

“And for goodness sake, use the cafeteria like NORMAL PILOTS”   
\--  
Suiting up was an experience of its own. Edmund was ushered into Deck C’s pilot center, where the abundance of crew members swarmed them with pieces. He followed Anna’s lead, out stretching his arms so the crew could bolt him into the suit.

“Pit crew at its finest, Edmund” Anna laughed.

Edmund felt invincible. This new exoskeleton rubbed out each and every insecurity he held. He glanced over at Anna, who was almost outfitted. Her armor was lean, and unlike himself Edmund could believe Anna was that muscular underneath the suit.

Anna looked over at him, her lips curling into a smile. “You look good, Edmund.”

“I-- oh! You look lov----”

Edmund’s sentence was cut off by the sensation of being pulled toward the exit. He tripped over his bad foot, almost falling on top of an idling crew member. “Sorry! Sorry!”

Edmund’s heart thumped wildly as he and Anna were ushered toward the cockpit of Delphinus Major. Under the collar of his suit he could feel a cold sweat forming. Inside the cockpit, Edmund saw the dual harnesses. The dread he felt slid into the pit of his stomach. Anna hopped up into the right side.

“I have this side. Come on up, Edmund, it won't bite.”

“Oh, I'm not afraid of the suit biting.”

Anna laughed sweetly, locking her feet into the braces. Edmund scrambled to the harness next to her. Crew members finished hooking up their suits to the jaeger just as the speakers from mission control switched on.

“Mr. Hewlett, congratulations. You've made it to the big leagues.” Washington said. His voice was smooth and warm, and Edmund felt a swell of pride. “In a few minutes we’ll be initiating your first drift. Relax, and let it pass. Then Major Andre will check your levels, we will run a few cognitive tests, and if all goes well you will officially be in circulation.”

Another voice trickled in through the speakers. “You two have drawn quite the crowd. Let’s give them a show.” Edmund recognized it as Andre. His calm demeanor took a bit of the edge off.

“Annie, we love ya! Edmund, you’ll be fine. Me and Benny are right here for you. So’s Peggy an’ Mary.”

“We’ve got one more!” Mary shouted

A voice Edmund had not heard before came onto the speakers. “Yes, hello Anna.” It was curt voice; small but deadly.

“Is that Robert?” Anna laughed. “How are you, Robert”

“I don't want to be here”

There was a grunt, and the sound of someone getting slapped.

“...but I’m here to support you”

Anna glanced over at Edmund, pointing comically at the speaker. “Robert Townsend. Research team. Never leaves his lab unless the kettle is broken.”

“It's not broken, I was kidnapped.”

General Washington broke through their conversation. “If you don't mind, we’re here for something important. Major Andre, initiate the drift”

Edmund tensed and braced himself for some invisible, yet unstoppable, impact.

“Initiating drift in 3, 2, 1….”

Time stopped.

Edmund felt his blood turn to ice in his veins, so cold it hurt to pulse through him. His vision was blue and white static, strobing relentlessly as if to tear his head apart. His body was a tense knot as some force was gaining access to his brain. His nerves were firing randomly against his will.

Then came the heat. An intense, throbbing heat that surged through him, setting every nerve on fire. Edmund felt his body go numb as the two extremes collided within him. There was the overwhelming feeling of fullness. Two souls in the same body. The numbness turned to a warm enveloping embrace, and Edmund relaxed into it.

The static in his vision cleared, and a wave of memories started to flood through Edmund’s mind. Some zipped by quickly, pinging off the walls and past Edmund’s head. Others meandered around lazily, giving Edmund a few milliseconds to savor the sights, smells, and sounds within them. The first clear one was a childhood Christmas, with Edmund huddled by the fireplace playing with an astronaut figurine. He could smell dinner on the stove, and crackling wood.

More images flitted past his eyes, the first of Anna speeding past. She was small, only 8 years old, holding onto the hand of a crying boy. Edmund barely caught a whiff of summer sun and sunscreen, and her small voice cooing “It’s just a bee sting, Ben. It’ll go away I promise.” “No, no it won't! It hurts !”

Time sped up, and Edmund was hit with a barrage of memories. His first drink, Anna’s late night walks with Caleb, fights with Abe, stargazing and book hunting. Edmund could feel Anna. She was watching with him, or through him. The two of them walked past these memories, trading emotions and reactions. He could feel her fear and joy. He could hear her laugh, her smile pinching his cheeks.

And suddenly, her laughter stopped.

Edmund saw Anna fiddling around with her hair in front of the mirror. A few misty eyed friends gathered around her. Her dress was soft white lace, hugging her curves and trailing long behind her. He saw Caleb and Ben take each of her arms. A warm smile graced their faces, and Anna plucked a few small blossoms from her hair and placed them in Caleb’s beard. The aisle was strewn with petals, and Anna didn't wear shoes. He could feel the soft grass on the soles of her feet.

Standing at the altar was a tall, thin man. His hair and eyes were dark, and he looked incredibly stern. Anna approached him, and his look softened. He smiled. Edmund felt his heart quicken. “Selah Strong” he breathed.

From within his mind, he could feel Anna panic. She wanted to run past this memory. He felt her screaming. All the pain that followed this moment came up into the back of her throat like thick bile. Edmund could taste it. She was repressing Selah. His loves, his memories. Anna was restricting his presence to her memories only. Edmund knew it was his job to pull her past this.

Summoning up all his courage, Edmund thrust himself through the memory. He grabbed Anna’s wrist and wrenched her away from Selah. The memory glitched and fell away, and the two screamed as they plummeted into darkness.

When they landed a new sense of dread crept over Edmund. His ears were ringing, and people were scrambling past. His hands hit the concrete hard. The taste of blood rose in his mouth. Edmund panicked, every nerve in his body screaming. This was not ok. This was not something he wanted to relive.

(“Out of alignment! Hewlett’s down!”)

Edmund scrambled to his feet and ran through the crowd of people fleeing in terror. He needed to get to shelter. Back to base. He needed to get out. If he could run faster, longer, better than he had before---

“Edmund stop! Edmund come back!”

He needed to get back to base. He needed to outrun this. This time for sure. This was the real thing. His boots were heavy, but he could do it. He wasn't going to stop until he was back at base and he would be fine---

“Edmund this isn't real! You need to come back!”

(“Connections are failing, General. We don't know where the surge is coming from”)

(“Shut it down, dammit!”)

Get back to base. Get there fast. Duck and weave. Every opening, every step is one further than he had gotten before. He’s going to make it this time. Top of the class, no more reserves. He’ll be better. Be someone better. He’s going to make it this time----

“Mommy! Mommy!”

There it was. It made him stop every time. Edmund tried to will his body to keep moving. He wanted nothing more than to disregard the terrified voice and keep moving. He knew it would be the end if he succumbed.

“Mommy! Mommy!”

Edmund followed the sound of the voice, veering off the path to base and down a side street. A small girl was hunched over her mother. From where he stood Edmund could see the blood pooling behind the woman’s head. She was unresponsive to her daughter’s cries. Edmund’s heart wretched.

“Sweetie, you need to get out of here. Please, we need to go right now.”

“My mommy isn't moving!”

A deafening roar split his eardrums. The girl looked up at him, her cheeks streaked with tears. Edmund took her by the shoulders and tried to pry her from the lifeless woman. “We need to leave, right now! The kaiju is coming!”

“NO! MOMMY I CAN’T LEAVE MOMMY! NO NOOOO”

The child thrashed and screamed. She twisted her tiny fists in her mother’s sweater and anchored herself to the woman. Edmund felt tears stream down his face. He needed to get her out of here.

(“Can’t you shut this down, Andre?”)

(“I'm trying, but he’s chasing it hard. Anna pull him back!”)

“Edmund! Leave her! This isn't real! I promise you this isn't real, you have to let it pass!”

Edmund hooked his arm around the girl’s waist and yanked her off her mother. Pivoting on his heel, he took off in the direction of the base. The girl was crying into his shoulder, and Edmund put a hand on her head.

“Edmund, drop her and get out of here! She isn't real!”

A large clawed hand swung high above them, shattering the large glass windows in one swell blow. Edmund darted to avoid the debris crashing down around him. He almost made it to the end of the alley when he tripped over a mangled bumper, sending him and the child flying. More debris hit the pavement, and Edmund scooped up the girl, quickly stashing her away underneath a car.

A large metallic groan sounded off behind him.

Glass shattering.

Vision red and white.

“EDMUND!!”

Edmund screamed. The shard was a foot long, thick piece of reflective glass. It tapered into a point , which disappeared into the mangled bloody toe of his boot. He tried to wiggle his toes. Searing pain shot through him.

(“GENERAL! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!”)

(“GET THEM OUT OF THERE, NOW! SHUT IT ALL DOWN BEFORE HE BLOWS THE WHOLE DAMN PLACE”)

(“I’M BREAKING IN, SIR”)

Edmund couldn't stop screaming. It was the end of him. He didn't have to look, he knew. He knew he was going to lose two toes. That he would wake up in the hospital lopsided and hopeless. He should have ran faster. Forgotten the child. He did it again and again and again.

The next thing Edmund feels is the sensation of weightlessness. Wires being plucked out of him as the sounds of the real world came crashing over him. Anna was screaming. The sound of metal against metal rang in his ears. Footsteps thundered into the jaeger cockpit.

“He’s not responding to me, DO SOMETHING”

Anna dissipated from Edmund’s conscious. She was hastily ripping off her harness restraints. His were being torn off by a different set of hands. Edmund choked back a sob, and felt hot tears on his face. The sensation of being alone in his body was overwhelming.

“Ben, is he ok! What's going on?!”

Edmund was pulled out of his harness and into Ben’s arms. Ben squeezed him close, restricting his uncontrollable jerking movements. Edmund inhaled Ben’s cologne, and a flash seared hot behind his eyes. He saw Anna’s tearful goodbye, and Ben dressed in PPDC uniform. He gasped and wretched himself from the memory. Ben squeezed tighter. His hand rubbed circles on his back. Edmund relaxed. Another set of hands ran through his hair. Anna had made her way to him and was soothingly running her fingers through.

Edmund wept. Shame rose up in him and he felt small and helpless. Ben was shushing him and gently rocking back and forth. Anna accompanied him with gently cooing.

“Don’t you cry, Edmund. My first drift wasn't much fun either. We’ve all been there.” Ben reassured.

Anna’s fingers rubbed into his scalp. “We’ll try again. We can always try again.”

Edmund slumped over. Ben transferred him into Anna’s arms, letting her wrap her arms around him. Her perfume filled his mind with nostalgia he knew didn't belong to him. Edmund couldn't fight it. He let himself slump into her arms, and passed out.

“Holy shit. Washington’s going to be pissed.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicating this chapter to narcissablaxk who helped me a lot this last weekend!


	5. Sick Bay

There was a beeping sound as Edmund regained consciousness. His head throbbed, and the lights in the room doubled and swayed. Anna was standing over him. Her face was creased with worry, and she looked scared out of her mind. Edmund could hear more people in the room. It was a gentle murmur of conversation, but it hushed as he started to writhe on the bed.

“Where am I?”

“Sick bay.” Anna croaked. One of her hands reached for his, squeezing it tightly. It was cold and clammy. Edmund felt awful. He tried to wet his lips and continue.

“What---”

A young woman came in and nudged Anna aside. She was dressed smartly, with a clean white doctor’s coat. She reached into her breast pocket and took out a small flashlight.

“Sorry, Anna. I just need to check on him before you all start talking. Edmund, my name is Abigail. I'm your doctor. Can you tell me what day it is?”

“Tuesday…”

“Good. Are you hearing any ringing in one or both ears?”

“No…”

Abigail gently tugged on the skin below his eye, and shined the light. “I don't see any blood in the tears. That's a good sign. Edmund, you've been passed out for 6 hours. Do you remember what happened before you lost consciousness?”

Edmund wracked his brain for a minute. It felt like he was drudging up his memories through some thick pudding. “I was drifting. W-with Anna. I...I chased the rabbit.” he stammered. Edmund felt like a huge disappointment. Was it so hard just to let the drift wash over him? He felt foolish for trying to outsmart a memory. He wiggled his toes to remind himself that he would never be able to rewrite it.

Edmund could see Anna peering over Abigail’s shoulder. She didn't look mad. Her face was still stuck in that twisted worrisome pose. Edmund averted his eyes from her and back to Abigail.

“Doctor, my head really hurts. Should I be concerned?”

Abigail clicked off the light and placed her hand onto Edmund’s forehead. “No fever, which is excellent. But you are extremely dehydrated. We’re going to hook you up to an IV and you’ll spend the night here. We don't need to monitor you closely, seeing how responsive you are now, but you were unconscious for a long time. By morning you should be good to go.”

Edmund smiled weakly. Abigail patted him on the head, then straightened up and started towards the door. “My boy Cicero is an aide here. He’ll be in shortly to hook you up. Try to take it easy, Edmund. Don't talk if you don't want to.”

As Abigail left, Anna approached the bed. She sat cautiously on the edge, and took Edmund’s hand. Edmund tried to ignore the spike on his heart rate monitor.

“We’ll try again when you feel better. This time it will be much easier. The first drift is always the most extreme. It hits everyone differently.”

Edmund cleared his throat. “Speaking of everyone, who else is here?”

Anna groaned. “Literally everyone.”

They stepped out from the shadowed outer walls of the sick bay, offering kind words to Edmund. Caleb ruffled his hair playfully.

“My first time was odd. It went perfectly ok, but then I'd have weird flashbacks for about a week. I once fell off my bed thinkin’ I was back in Setauket swimming.” He laughed. Edmund couldn't help but laugh along.

Mary and Peggy hopped up onto the foot of his bed, almost knocking off the medical charts. “I had bad nightmares, mostly.” Mary sighed. Peggy nodded in agreement. “I had a full blown panic attack in the harness, like you did.” She said. Her hand patted Edmund’s leg soothingly.

Edmund turned his gaze to Ben, and he felt a pang of guilt as he recalled how the man pulled him from the harness. He was grateful Ben was there to ground him. “I remember what you did, Ben. You told me you had a rough time too. You don't need to share.” Edmund said meekly.

Caleb quirked an eyebrow. “Is that what he told ya?” The other pilots started giggling to themselves, staring Ben down. Caleb laughed, and clapped a hand on Edmund’s shoulder.

“Tall boy here creamed himself on his first drift”

“CALEB!”

Edmund turned red, matching Ben’s scarlet face. “I had an ...adverse reaction.” Ben stammered.

Anna shook her head, her cheeks pink from laughter. “No, Edmund had an adverse reaction. You just had fun.” Peggy clapped her hand over her mouth, unsuccessfully catching a snort of laughter. “Anna, I’ve been good to you. Why do you hurt me so--”

Something caught Caleb’s eye, and he immediately stopped laughing and straightened up. The others followed suit, and Edmund felt Mary and Peggy scramble from the bed to stand at attention. Edmund turned his head quickly, ignoring the throbbing pain to look in their direction.

General Washington entered the room. His face was stern, but Edmund struggled to figure out if it was because of his failure, or just the man’s natural facade. Edmund twisted the hospital blanket in his fists. He braced himself for the worst. Washington let out a small huff, and a smile tugged at his lips.

“From the look on your face, Edmund, I see you’ve heard about Benjamin’s first drift.”

“Sir!”

“Oh, come now. At least humor the poor man.”

Edmund’s heart pounded in his chest. Washington’s face softened, and he made his way over to the bed. “At ease, everyone. We have some things to discuss.”

Edmund drew his knees towards his chest as Washington sat at the foot of the bed. All the memories of the drift came flooding back, and Edmund couldn't fight the verbal vomit coming up on him. “I’m so sorry, sir. I- I have no excu--”

Washington held a hand up to silence him, and Edmund fell quiet. “I’m not mad, Edmund. I do admit I was yelling, but as everyone here will tell you… I do that quite a lot. However, we do need to address what happened.”

Washington handed Edmund a folder, and motioned for him to open it. Inside were charts, figures, and some photographs taken from the security cameras surrounding Delphinus Major. Edmund scanned the pages, but the information wasn't sinking in. He cleared his throat sheepishly. “I'm sorry, General, I don't understand.”

“Shortly after initiating your drift you fell out of alignment, which led to your unpleasant experience. However, we collected record breaking surge numbers. Your connection to Mrs.Strong, and it's place inside the jaeger, is one of the highest we’ve ever seen. So high it rivals Benjamin and Caleb, who--as you know--- have been close since childhood.”

Anna squeezed his shoulder, obviously excited. He savored the warmth, and gazed up at her. She was positively beaming. It was a stark contrast from the sullen, brooding Anna he had met a few days prior. Washington cleared his throat, and Edmund turned his attention back towards him, noting the subtle knowing smile on his face.

“You did cause quite a panic. Benjamin broke through the cockpit as you were charging up a plasma cannon. A couple more seconds and we could have been a great deal worse.”

Edmund’s stomach churned at the thought. Washington placed a strong hand on his knee. “This is why we’re here, Edmund. For our ability to get back on the horse. Look around. Each and every one of these pilots has had darker times in their jaeger. Each and every one of them is back in the harness when the next siren calls. You’ve been gifted with pristine compatibility. Use it. Trust Mrs.Strong and you will see the other side of the drift.”

Edmund nodded his head weakly. He felt the eyes of the other pilots on him. He knew in his heart they were not being malicious, but the attention brought a flush to his cheeks. Washington threw a wink to Caleb. “And since we’re all trading first drift stories---”

“Oh god, sir, don’t do it again please I’m beggin’ ya”

Washington took two fingers and reached into his mouth, tugging on two teeth behind one of the upper canines. To Edmund’s shock (and disgust) they came right out. Caleb made a wretched noise. Peggy threw up her hands, as if she'd seen this a hundred times. Washington held the two teeth in his palm outstretched where the pilots could see.

“My first drift,” he said, turning the teeth over in his palm, “was not so pleasant. We had just figured out a two pilot system, and I was one of the first to try it. The science was crude, and we were unprepared. The sensation of having someone else with me--inside me-- drove me mad. I would do anything to relieve the sense of fullness. In my fervor I pulled out a few teeth.” Washington chuckled, as if looking back on it as a fond memory.

Edmund grimaced, the image of a man yanking his own teeth to the root was enough to make his forgotten lunch come up. Caleb was shifting uncomfortably, looking queasy. Washington reached out towards him. “Did you need a closer look back there, Caleb--”

“NO! ...sir.”

Washington shrugged, and wrapped the two teeth in a handkerchief. He smiled at Edmund. “Easier to take out than put in, I’m afraid.” Caleb looked visibly relieved that the false teeth were out of sight. Edmund could see Ben shaking with laughter. General Washington rose to his feet, and straightened out his uniform. “It’s all fun and games until the teeth come out, Caleb. Do lay off Benjamin for a while. You know how excitable he gets.”

Caleb punched Ben’s arm, only half playfully. “Tattle tellin’ arse” he hissed.

“Come now, everyone. Let’s give Edmund and Mrs.Strong some privacy. Let them catch up. We will see you bright and early.”

A few goodbyes were murmured, and hugs exchanged as the group filtered out. Caleb hung behind briefly, only to catch Washington’s eye as he menacingly reached for his tooth filled handkerchief again. “Fucking shite!” he cried, sprinting down the hall at full speed. Peels of laughter followed his thundering footsteps.

Washington smirked, and paused with a hand on the door. “Good night, you two. I’ll send up Cicero for your IV.” And with that, the door closed, leaving Anna and Edmund alone.

\--  
Anna figured it was going to be a while before Edmund felt sleepy again, and ran out to grab coffee. In that time, Edmund mulled over the events of the day. He had a whole new lifetime of memories to sift through. In many ways it felt perverse. He could revisit any intimate moment of Anna’s life. Then again, so could she. Edmund wrung his hands nervously. It wasn't like there was much intimacy for her to visit in his life. Barely kissed a woman, let alone got anywhere near sex. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will away images that popped into his head. Anna and her partners…

The door opened with a bang, and Edmund’s heart lept into his throat.

“Sorry, Edmund. I had to hip check the door. But look who I found.”

A young man came in not far behind her. He was carrying some medical trays, and supplies. His smile and eyes bore a strong resemblance to the doctor he had seen earlier. “You must be Cicero. You look just like your mother.”

Cicero smiled and set down the tray. Edmund could see the IV bag, some tubes and a fresh needle. “Thank you! I'm sorry I've been so late. I saw the General in here earlier and I didn't want to disturb you just then.”

Anna sat in a big comfy chair by the bed, resting her feet up on the hospital cot. “You’re an aide now, Cicero! Good job! How do you like it?” “I love it, Miss Anna. I miss studying with you.” Anna laughed. “No you don't. I could barely pronounce half the stuff in that textbook.” Cicero laughed. “Gave you something to do, though. It's no fun studying alone. It helped me understand when I explained it to you.” Anna hummed in agreement.   
“You always were the smart one. Your mom is really proud.”

Cicero swabbed Edmund’s arm, and inserted the needle. He was very gentle. Edmund was relieved, needles usually made him squeamish. The young man departed, and Edmund was handed a hot cup of coffee.

The silence was deafening. He was unsure where to begin. Edmund rolled the cup between his palms, hoping the warmth would ignite some idea in his mind. Finally, something came up.

“I don’t want to be too bold…” He started, earning a raised eyebrow from Anna. Edmund considered backtracking, or making something up, but the words kept falling out of his mouth. “...you looked...truly wonderful during your wedding-- To Selah, that is. And, I’m...I’m terribly sorry. I'm sorry you lost him.”

Anna sighed, staring into her coffee cup. “It's not too bold, Edmund. I should be thanking you. I was terrified just seeing him again. If you hadn't shoved me, I'm afraid we would have chased an entirely different rabbit.” Anna’s voice wavered a bit. Edmund felt the sensation of repression, like he did during their drift.

“You don't have to quash it, Anna. I can handle you--both of you.” His ears were burning. He’d never been like this with someone before. He felt emboldened. Anna was right, he felt as if they had known each other for years.

Anna moved her chair close to the bed and squeezed Edmund’s hand. His hand felt electrified. He couldn't move it if he tried. A heat burned in his chest, rising to his cheeks. He could smell her shampoo, and it drove him mad. Never had he felt so completely rapt in another person.

“How about we handle each other. If Selah joins us..so be it.”

Edmund nodded, unable to break out of his stupor. He desperately wished she would not let go of his hand. Not now, at least. Maybe in the morning. Now all he wanted was that familiar warmth he felt coursing through his veins during their drift. To not feel empty in his own body.

Anna nodded towards his bad foot, which was hidden under the hospital blankets. “I found out why you won our sparring match, you cheater.” Edmund was startled. “Excuse me?” Anna took a sip from her cup. “Your toes. You fight lopsided because of your toes.” The throbbing heat in Edmund’s chest was now all in his face. Yes, she has seen his whole ordeal.

Anna squeezed his hand tighter. “I'm not making fun. I just think it's a strange coincidence…” She said, setting aside her coffee to roll up the pant leg on her left side. There was a long purple scar that stretched from her ankle until halfway up her shin. Edmund thought back to their sparring match, and how Anna took the weight off her leg.

“When--”

“When do you think? Our jaeger got tossed pretty bad. My foot was knocked out of the locks and it snapped. That's why I was laid up in here for so long with Cicero. They had to bolt some things back into place.” Anna said. Her eyes lingered over Edmund’s covered foot. “I'm a little surprised that they threw you in reserves for that.”

Edmund (regretfully)withdrew his hand from Anna’s so he could wring the blankets between his palms. “Yes, well… The PPDC could afford to be picky.”

Anna rolled her pant leg back down. “Picky just saved our asses. Two pilots who share mirrored injuries? Our whole brain and body is routed into compensating for that. Next time we drift, it’ll be like being one whole person-- and not a clumsy three-legged race. That's a guarantee.”

Edmund nestled deep into the pillows behind him. As much as he missed feeling agile, what he really longed for was the sensation of companionship. That fiery rush that dulled into a warm ache in his veins. He was eager to get back into Delphinus Major. The memory of the warmth made his eyelids heavy.

Anna looked at the time. “Hey, you’re probably getting hit with all the IV stuff. Try to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning?”

Edmund let out a soft hum. It was all he could manage for a yes.

Anna leaned over him, straightening out the IV tube and pulling the blankets to his chin. Edmund could smell the faint lingering of perfume on her jumpsuit. Behind his eyelids he felt the crisp air of fall, and tasted apples. It faded quickly, leaving Edmund slightly crestfallen.

He opened his eyes to get one last look at Anna as she picked up her things. “Thank you, Anna. I'm glad I’m your copilot.” Anna nodded, a bit unsure how to take the compliment.

“I'd save the praise until we take a big one down. But I'm glad you're my copilot too. Sleep tight.”

And with that, Edmund was alone. Yet not without many new memories to help him drift off to sleep.

 

 

 


	6. 3 am Alarm

_Warm, humid summer morning. Edmund felt the grass scratching his feet as he padded along the unfamiliar field. It was glittering gold in the light of dawn, slick with dew that threatened to topple Edmund. He was set on a predestined path, one that was well worn in his bones. Each and every sway of grass brought nostalgia and awe. The local and the tourist trotting the same path._

_He stopped at the base of a tree, which loomed large over the edge of a shimmering pond. The craggily rocks gold limned and glorious, Edmund rushed to settle down._

_That sense of fullness was with him once again as he dipped his bare feet into the water. Glancing down, he noticed that his vision doubled. Parting and merging were two sets of legs, one most likely belonging to Anna Strong. Edmund wondered if she was dreaming the exact same dream right now; Taking in lungfuls of fresh morning air and feeling the chill of night being chased away by dawn. This was her memory, and he felt blessed to be a part of it. How often must she come here in the dead of night, thousands of miles away from the cold metal bunker she slept in._

_Glancing over his shoulder, Edmund realized he was not alone. Anna had spliced from him, and was lazily kicking the water, sending ripples up and down the pond. She paid him no mind. He was just a fortunate voyeur._

_Her hair was down, and tumbled over her shoulders messily. Edmund took in a sharp breath, astounded. He let his eyes flit over her. Illuminated by the rosy dawn, Anna’s silhouette was haloed in golden glory. The dark brown of her hair lit up with warm honeyed hues. Her dew heavy skirt clung to her, and she was absentmindedly fiddling with the waistband. It was clear her mind, even in such a removed place as this, was miles away. If she was, where could she be?_

_Edmund inched slowly so that his shoulder brushed hers. He savored every bit of the warmth that radiated off her. Every second their skin made contact ignited Edmund. Could she feel it too? Was his warmth traveling through her memories and into her sleepy form. He felt as if the air was being taken out of his lungs. Quietly, he managed a breathy sigh. “Anna…”_

_She turned towards him, brown eyes soft and warm. His heart threatened to leave his chest. Did she truly hear him? Was he not a voyeur here, and his desires have been made uncomfortably known? Edmund knew he’d find out in the morning; But for now Anna’s lips were pink and inviting. He was staring, he didn't care. He was overwhelmed. Possessed by some desire to feel connected to her. He craved it. A glint in her eyes signaled that she wanted this too. With courage he didn't know he had, Edmund swooped in to meet her lips---_

Edmund shot up out of the bed as an awful noise split the air. His dark hospital room flashed with red lights, and he heard the sounds of the Shatterdome waking abruptly. Cupping his ears, Edmund glanced at the hour. It was 3 am. When had he fallen asleep. 10? 11? The math didn't add up, and Edmund felt bombarded by the siren.

A few moments of blaring noise passed before the door to his room swung open. It was Anna, out of her jumpsuit and in relaxed lounge pants and a tank top. She rushed over to Edmund’s bed and shook him. “Want to see your first fight? I figured you should see what goes on at command before you get popped into a jaeger.”

Edmund nodded, still cupping his ears from the siren. Anna helped him sit up in the bed.“The sirens will stop as soon as Caleb gets his lazy ass into the jaeger. I hate when they get night duties.”

Anna threw a pair of sweatpants onto the bed and started readying the IV for movement. Edmund held the pants up, a look of momentary confusion on his face. “They should be your size, maybe a little bigger. Beats having your ass hanging out.” She said, rolling the wheelchair up to the bed.

Edmund flushed as he became aware of the bare sensation below the covers. Quickly he ducked beneath the blanket to wrangle on the pants. When he emerged, Anna hoisted him up and into the chair.

“Let’s go!” Anna said excitedly. Edmund had to grip the armrests tightly as Anna took off full speed. The lights of the hallway were still flashing red and white, with that shrill air siren still sounding off. Edmund felt pure exhilaration. He may not be ready to fight today, but soon that siren will call for him.

They rounded a corner with such speed Edmund had to throw his body weight in the other direction to avoid toppling the chair over. The rattling of his IV stand reminded him to keep the tube clear of the wheels, lest he wants to experience what it's like to have a needle yanked from his veins. Crew members were buzzing around the doors to the command room. A few caught a glimpse of Anna in time to swiftly swing the doors open before they rammed into it.

Inside was a massive set up. Screens lit the room, displaying a multitude of charts, holographic models, and news feeds. Edmund could see images of Hong Kong being evacuated, bracing for the inevitable landing of a kaiju. Anna wheeled over to Andre, who was tapping away at the screen in front of him.

“Seta Five, all locked in?”

Ben’s voice came in over the speakers. “Sir, yes Sir. Locked and ready.”

Andre rolled his chair to the holographic display of Seta Five. The two figures inside were colored red. “Initiating drift in 3, 2, 1….”

Edmund looked on in awe as the screens around him exploded into color. Bright strobing lights, spiked vitals monitors, brainwave scans all glittering as Ben and Caleb converged. So this is what the neural load looked like. Numbers, unshakeable numbers, that supported the theory of neural compatibility. In the time it took to slip on a glove, Ben and Caleb had shared a lifetime of memories, and came out the other side. The screens returned to a normal function. Edmund noted that the two figures in the holographic Seta Five were colored green now.

“Drift complete. Strong as ever, gentlemen.”

Caleb’s voice patched in, directed towards Ben.

“Been busy since I last seen ya, eh Benny.”

“Shut up, Caleb.”

“No secrets, Tallboy, you know that.”

The conversation was put to a halt as someone behind Edmund cleared their throat.

“Tallmadge, Brewster. Must we do this at all hours?”

Edmund whipped his head around to see General Washington. He had been roused from sleep, just as everyone else. Edmund was in awe of how he could still look so regal and intimidating, even while out of uniform and in dark navy silk pajamas. Washington must have felt his eyes on him, and looked down. “Nice of you to join us, Edmund. Watch and learn.” Edmund smiled, sure that this was Washington’s polite way of asking not to stare.

“Seta Five, the kaiju is a category 3. Code name: Ridgeback. Stay on the miracle mile for interception. We have Mary and Peggy on standby. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir!”

“What he said.”

Washington chuckled. “50th kill, Seta Five. Make it quick and orderly. No mucking about.”

Edmund watched in awe as Seta Five was lifted out of the open roof of the Shatterdome. It rose like a toy solider in a child’s hand, and Edmund suddenly felt very small.

The doors pushed open and Edmund saw a man shuffle in. He was thin and wilty looking, with sandy blond hair and a sour expression. “General, here are the numbers.”

Washington turned towards the man, taking the file outstretched towards him. “Mr.Townsend, you’re still up. Good man.” Washington scanned the files quickly, his brows furrowing. “Good god, is this true?”

“I'm afraid so. I came as soon as the algorithm went through.”

Washington rubbed at the stubble on his face. He let out the breath he was holding. “There’s no way this could be a window over the next few days. You’re certain.”

Robert nodded, his face still sullen.

Anna dropped a hand onto Edmund’s shoulder. He felt her squeeze him. Curiosity and dread churned in his stomach.

Finally, Washington turned towards the monitors.

“Benjamin, Caleb. Are you with me?”

“Yes sir. Is there a change in plans?”

“We’ve just received word that there will be a double event tonight.”

The room went cold. Crew members shifted nervously, and muttered to themselves.

“Sorry, General, I think I heard wrong. Did’ya say Double Event?”

Anna’s grip tightened on his shoulder, and he heard her let out a small “holy shit”. Edmund’s eyes were transfixed on Washington. There had never been a double event before. How was he not terrified.

“The plan proceeds as usual. I’ll send Mary and Peggy out now. We can't afford to send you out there without immediate back up.”

The line was silent for a moment before Ben spoke up.

“Affirmative. Position 20 on the Miracle Mile?”

Washington closed his eyes. Edmund could see him trying to steady his breathing. To stop the faint trembling Edmund spotted in his hands. The room had gone deathly silent. Andre turned to Washington.

“We need your confirmation, George.” He whispered.

When Washington opened his eyes again he was collected. The minute shaking Edmund saw had passed. He stood as tall and confident as he did in full uniform, despite his silky attire.

“No. Position 18. Triangle defense with Mercy Depths.”

“Copy.”

Robert had slinked into a chair next to Andre and was pulling up numbers. The holographic schematic showed the live feed of the drift. “If the algorithm is correct, which is most definitely is, we should see another breach within the hour.”

There was a loud bang as the doors of the command room were forced open. Mary ran in, fists balled in anger.

“Merch Depths is glitched!” She spat.

Washington grimaced. It was clear he did not like her tone, but tempered himself to assess the situation.

“Mrs. Woodhull, what seems to be the problem.”

Mary straightened up, still angry but not eager to enrage Washington further. “Mercy Depths is reading at critical. The hatches won't seal, leaving us at critical exposure. We didn't even have to harness in to see the problem. Any pressure change, water, acid, and we’re done for.”

Washington rubbed his temples, both the hour and the situation draining him. “So what you’re telling me is that you're grounded, and I’ve just sent Tallmadge and Brewster to a double event ALONE, MRS. WOODHULL”

Mary stood very still, angry tears welling in her eyes. Peggy charged in through the door. “With all due respect, SIR. It is not Mary’s fault that Mercy Depths has faulty hatches. This is an engineering problem and should be dealt with by such.”

Washington stared down the two pilots. He was seething, but Peggy was correct. “Then I apologize to you, Mrs.Woodhull. But do tell how this is supposed to help my men in the field.”

“Us! We can help, sir.”

Edmund whipped his head around to the sound of Anna’s voice. Washington turned towards Anna, and she cleared her throat. “Edmund...and I… We can do it. We can flank Seta Five.”

“Mrs. Strong, your copilot is out of action---”

“Not out of action, sir. His IV drip is nearly done. We can take it off him and he’ll do fine.”

“You're asking me to take a great risk. Mr.Hewlett did not complete his first drift.”

Edmund felt his stomach pitch, and scrambled to his feet. He faltered, but steadied himself on the IV stand. “Sir, I am confident that I can complete the drift. I have a new beacon of courage, if you will.”

Anna linked arms with Edmund, subtly holding him up so that he stood stronger than before. “Please, sir” she said, her voice pleading, “Ben is out there alone.”

Washington’s expression softened. He took a deep breath, and then nodded. “Ready Delphinus Major, John. I want all hands at the ready. Everyone else, you know your jobs, now DO THEM.”

The room erupted into a frenzy. Washington turned to them, staring down at Anna. His look was stern, but no longer angry. His voice came out as a low rumble. “Do not think I don't know what you did just there. Do not disappoint me, Anna.”

Edmund shifted uncomfortably. The feeling had returned to his legs, only to be taken away by Washington’s intense scrutiny. There was something more to this that he didn't quite understand. He wished he could ask but---

“Edmund, quickly. We need to suit up.”

It would just have to wait.  
\------

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at pacing ok?  
> I keep promising they'll be in the jaeger but I have no patience. My life is a bed of lies.


	7. Double Event

Strapping into the harness was nerve wracking. Edmund was sure this time would be better...successful. The added pressure of the first kaiju double event wasn't really helping. His hands shook tremendously as he rushed to fasten himself in. His suit felt constricting. The exoskeleton he had admired at first was starting to feel like a form fitted coffin.

Strapping into her own harness, Anna was muttering a few things to herself. She seemed almost frantic, and Edmund felt a pang of guilt. She had volunteered them, but now was the time to realize the truth. Edmund had never fought, and Anna had not been in a jaeger for over 6 months. The full weight of that was on her shoulders. She was their senior pilot.

“Anna…” Edmund squeaked. He was surprised that she heard him over the commotion of the crew. “...I’m frightened.” It sounded so childish leaving his mouth. How could he say that two minutes before they had to face hell itself.

Anna nodded, and held her arm across the gap between them. Edmund instinctively did the same, so that their finger tips brushed. “I know, Edmund. Me too. It’ll be alright, I promise.” Edmund felt a swell of tears rise to his eyes, seeing once again the memory of small Anna soothing Ben in that Long Island field. She had been doing this for ages. Comforting those on times of crisis. Promising them better days. It was second nature to her. He felt like such a child. He felt like hurtling the same words he heard Ben cry. _No it won’t! It hurts_! Of course she knew it would hurt. But she’s back in the harness. She's promising him that he’ll see the other side.

He just needs to trust her.

Andre’s voice crackled in through the speakers. “It’s show time, Delphinus Major. Let’s get you started. Initiating drift in 3,2,1--”

Edmund gasped as his veins turned to ice again. He gritted his teeth, waiting for the rush of fire to flood him. When it did, he sunk back into it comfortably. He didn't try to look into each memory that whizzed over his head. He ignored the scratchy grass on his feet, and the sound of shattering glass. Instead he relished the feeling of being full. Completely satisfied. His bad foot had new life, but he could also feel the phantom pain of a scar that didn't quite exist on his left shin.

Edmund opened his eyes, feeling laced with some wonderful drug. Anna glanced over at him, a smile pinching her cheeks. He could feel that.

“Welcome to the other side of the drift, Edmund.”

Edmund blushed. Somewhere in his chest was a feeling of pride he had siphoned from Anna. He cherished it. “It’s great to be here.”

“Delphinus Major, your drift is complete. Total alignment. Well done. I'm handing you through to Washington.”

Exhilaration buzzed in Edmund’s chest as he endured the few seconds before Washington came through.

“Seta Five, there has been a slight adjustment to the plan. Mercy Depths is at critical, and it's grounded---”

“Fuckin’ Christ, you mean we’re soloing this?”

Washington let out an angered sound.

“Mr. Brewster, if you would _please_ let me finish. I could not afford to send you alone. Delphinus Major is up and running. They will be flanking you.”

Caleb let out an excited laugh. “Yes! Oh, Annie you’re back! Atta girl!”

“Congratulations, Edmund. I see Mary vouched a good man.”

Edmund laughed timidly at the compliment. “T-thank you, Ben. It's truly an honor--”

“The real honor will be getting you four back _alive_. Seta Five, we read you at position 18. Delphinus Major will be there in 10.” Washington said. His tone was urgent.

Edmund was so excited he hardly noticed that they had already been airlifted. They softly rocked with the sway of the cables. For a few blissful minutes everything was calm, and quiet. From above the lights of Hong Kong, Edmund could see the stars. With a jaeger, perhaps, Edmund could suspend disbelief and touch them.

“Holy SHIT”

A deafening roar came over the mic. Edmund shrieked. From their vantage point they could see the source. Category 3, Ridgeback. It rose quickly from the sea, swiping at Seta Five. The jaeger took the hit to the shoulder, and stumbled.

“This is a sneaky lil’’ bugger. Extremely fast.”

Edmund wanted to charge ahead for back up, but they were still hovering above the sea. Now they were close enough to see how terrible it was. Ridgeback had dimpled grey skin, that was striped with green up and down the back. It's head was elongated, and tapered at the snout. But when it opened its mouth, Edmund gasped. The jowls expanded like a bullfrog, sending spit and blue everywhere. And the teeth; hundreds of jagged knives waiting to gnash anything in their way.

Seta Five reared back and swung an iron fist into the tip of the snout. There was a horrifying cracking sound. When the fist came away, the tip of the snout was limp and crooked. The kaiju roared in pain.

“I guess he didn't like my sucker punch.” Ben chided.

There was a rumble as the helicopters let Delphinus Major go, and they dropped into the sea. Anna was quick to action. “Caleb, we’re at your 6. Need any help with that?”

“Nah Annie, hang back an’ keep an eye out for his friend.”

Townsend’s voice came in over the mic. “No breach activity so far. Be alert.”

Ridgeback was locking fists with Seta Five, and being shoved further from the distant shore. It’s hideous mouth was agape and wildly biting at the jaeger. Ben made a noise of disapproval. “He’s not letting up.”

“Hey Benny, you remember when we used to wrestle at the lake?”

“Oh! You mean _this_?”

Seta Five let go of the kaiju for a split second and crouched down. Ridgeback fell forward, not expecting the sudden lack of force. Seta Five took the kaiju’s massive weight onto its shoulder, and with one swift motion flipped the beast up and over.

Ridgeback landed hard into the water, creating a wave that knocked back Delphinus Major. Anna swore under her breath before scolding the two. “Will you two be a little more careful where you flip those things?!”

“Someone’s still mad they were away that summer---”

“OH YOU TWO I SWEAR---”

In their bickering, they had forgotten about the Kaiju, which now surged from the sea at straight at Delphinus Major. Edmund lifted a hand to catch the broken snout of the thing.

“Tallmadge, Brewster, Strong. Is this the best time to be socializing?” Washington barked. Edmund felt the beast pushing against his thick iron armor.

“No, sir! We’re on our way to Delphinus Major!”

Seta Five came barreling in, grabbing Ridgeback by the head and yanking it off of Delphinus Major’s arm. Anna pulled back her arm, loading up a plasma cannon. “Step aside, guys. This is going to sting.”

Seta Five jerked out of the way as the cannon fired, taking a chunk out of the twisting kaiju’s gut. Blue exploded from the wound and cascaded into the sea.

“Seta Five, Delphinus Major! The breach is open. Expect company. Category 4, Codename: Echolark.” Andre shouted. His voice was nearly drowned out by the incessant screeching of the kaiju.

“You heard the man. Let's wrap this one up!”

Seta Five pulled back the head of the kaiju, leaving room for Anna and Edmund to fire directly into its neck. With a few short blasts, the head came off, leaving the body to topple into the sea.

“Delphinus Major, first kill. It's the sweetest one, eh Annie?”

“It’s good to be back.”

Edmund took a minute to catch his breath. His ears were pounding. He’d never experienced an adrenaline rush like this before; it was sweet and intoxicating. Edmund only had a few moments to relish it before Andre spoke to them again.

“Echolark signature coming in fast. Hang on, everyone.”

“Seta Five, Delphinus Major. Execute defense protocol 7. I want you locked and ready for this.” Washington said.

“Protocol 7 it is, Sir. Anna, Edmund, come around and cover the back---”

Ben was cut off as an enormous kaiju erupted from the sea. Edmund let out a silent gasp, his jaw dropping. Echolark was massive. It was just taller than Seta Five, which made it close to 300ft. It resembled a deformed shark, clad with spikes, all on two thick legs with a tail that cracked the air like a whip.

The kaiju rushed them, and tackled Seta Five into the sea. Edmund could hear Ben and Caleb scream over the mic. There was a loud clanging metallic sound, and alarms going off on their end of the feed.

“Bastard’s got us pinned! Annie we need ya!”

Instinctively, Anna and Edmund threw back their arms, locking the elbows. Edmund could hear the click of the machinery bracing itself. “We might only get one shot at this, Edmund. On three, initiate the rockets. 1, 2---”

Their countdown was halted by the sound of shearing metal. Echolark’s tail had swung around, whipping Delphinus Major across the face. Embers flew in front of the the plexiglass visor of the jaeger, blinding them. Edmund swore loudly as his vision doubled.

Caleb’s voice frantically came in over the commotion.

“Guys, we need you **now**.” He cried. Then, in an even more desperate tone Edmund heard Caleb plead, “ _Ben, please. You have to stay with me.”_

The Sparks cleared from their vision, and Edmund could see Echolark clawing at Seta Five. Only the jaeger’s arms and legs were seen flailing from below the waves.

“Anna, I have an idea. Follow my lead.”

He reached out and caught the tail of the kaiju, yanking it back harshly. The beast screeched, throwing Seta Five out of its grasp and lunging at Delphinus Major.

“Edmund, you better have thought of something else---”

“No, no that was it”

“Well shit.”

The two crossed their arms, bracing the jaeger for impact. Echolark bit down on the left forearm, sending a sharp pain through Edmund’s arm. He cried out, trying to swat the beast away. Anna quickly tapped a few buttons on the touch screen in front of her.

“Edmund! I need you to press execute! We’re releasing the coolant.”

Edmund reached forward, ramming his finger onto the touchscreen. A loud hissing sound cut the air. Outside the jaeger a thick cloud formed, eliciting a pained shriek from the kaiju.

Behind Echolark, Seta Five rose up from the sea floor, regaining its balance.

“Good job, you two! Hang tight. Me an’ Ben are right behind ya” Caleb cheered. “Benny, I think it's time we show this fella our little trick.”

“I agree”

Seta Five charged in, grabbing one of the massive webbed hands of Echolark. The jaeger twisted the arm roughly, which dislocated with a pop. Seta Five then forced the hand into the exposed whirring blades of their jaeger’s chest.

The roar was deafening. When Echolark pulled away it’s hand was a mass of pulpy blue. Anna widened her stance, taking Edmund along with her.

“NOW! LET’S DO THIS NOW!”

They threw forward a hook punch, catching Echolark on the side of the face. Edmund watched as the eye flew out of the socket. They pulled their fist back again, and Edmund looked down at his screen.

“Let’s make sure this works!” He said, pressing an icon on the screen. An automated voice rang out inside the cockpit “Deploying Sword”

Anna smiled. “Wonderful! Let’s finish this!”

“Together!”

Delphinus Major drove the sword into Echolark, piercing it above the eye. It gave one last cry, before toppling forward and into the sea.

“Signature erased! Mission complete.” Andre said.

“Congratulations pilots. You made history tonight. Rendezvous back at the Shatterdome.” Washington said.

\--  
Edmund unharnessed as soon as they landed, scrambling up onto his feet in record time. Anna threw her arms around him, giving him a tight hug.

“I'm so proud, Edmund. You were great.” She cooed. Edmund’s cheeks burned hot. Hesitantly he searched for a place to rest his hands in the embrace, eventually resting them on Anna’s lower back. Anna looked up at him, soft brown eyes glittering. Edmund tried hard to quash the memory of that sweet dream he had; tried and failed. He would give anything to have the courage to lean in and kiss her, no matter how bold it may be.

“That’s the man! Oh, I could kiss ya!” Caleb screamed, running into the cockpit. “But I think Annie might cover me on that one.” Anna let go of Edmund to slap Caleb upside the head. “Don't be an ass.” She hissed.

Ben strode in next, clapping one hand on Edmund’s shoulder. “You had a great first run. Not the best circumstances and you came home in one piece.” Edmund smiled, relishing the compliment.

Anna wrapped her arms around Ben. Edmund couldn't help but notice how Ben’s face turned worrisome as she did so. “You ok? That was--”  
“Yeah, yeah I know. It’s fine. I’m _fine_.” He muttered.

Anna nodded, and gave him a quick pat on the back. “You should report to General Washington. I'm sure he wants your case report.” Her voice was hushed. Ben nodded quickly, and turned to Caleb, who was writing down some things on a little notepad.

“Caleb, let's go. We have to report.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Just jotting down a few things so I can knock out.”

Anna checked her watch. “It’s 4:39.” She groaned. “We’re going to feel this in the morning. Come on Edmund, I’ll walk you downstairs.”  
\--

The two stood awkwardly in the service elevator, counting the floors down to the pilot residence. Edmund cleared his throat.

“I don't want to be intrusive, Anna...but… is everything ok? W-with Ben, I mean. He seemed rather odd just now.”

Anna clammed up, shoving her hands into her pockets. “Oh, you know. Close call for Seta Five. Being pinned isn't exactly fun. I just wanted to make sure he was ok.”

Edmund hummed in agreement, despite his gut feeling. Caleb was in there too, and yet no one seemed as concerned for him. It left a sour taste in Edmund’s mouth. As the elevator opened on their floor, Edmund resolved to wait until a better time to press Anna for questions.

Edmund’s room was a ways off from Anna’s, but closest to the elevator; which left the two idling awkwardly outside his door.

“You did...good.” Anna said, almost meekly.

Edmund gave a tired smile, other thoughts still clouding his mind. He didn't want to keep Anna up, but also didn't want her to leave just yet. Reluctantly, Edmund turned the key in the lock.

“I'm glad I didn't disappoint. You were truly magnificent out there, Anna. I know you said to save the praise until after our first fight, so now is an appropriate time to say it; I’m honored to be your copilot.”

“The honor’s all mine.”

Anna gave a nod to Edmund, signaling she was on her way out. As she strode down the hallway, Edmund lingered in the doorway, waiting until she rounded the corner to resign to his room.

 

 


	8. Love and Friendship

Morning was brutal.

Despite wanting to sleep into the late afternoon, Edmund was awake at 7am. His once comfy bed felt itchy and lumpy. Stretching earned him a few groaning joints; some cracks and pops in his back left over from last night’s’ kaiju battle. Finally, it became obvious sleep was not returning, so Edmund slipped on a jumpsuit and headed for the door.

The hall was desolate, and Edmund felt every step he took shook the place. The other pilots were probably still asleep, and the thought of having more cranky coworkers around terrified him. Edmund was in such a rush to reach the elevator that he almost ran head first into the next person who rounded the corner.

“Edmund, _shit_. I’m sorry!”

It was Ben. He was still wearing his jumpsuit from last night, and his eyes were red and blotchy. Edmund spied a few papers clipped together in his hand.

“Oh dear, Ben were you up all night on reports?” Edmund whispered, not wanting to be too loud. “You look exhausted. Why don't you lie down?”

Ben gave him a weak smile. “That's kind of you, but really, it's fine. I knew I’d be pulling all nighters when I took on the job. I'm wired now, so…” Ben trailed off, a little awkwardly. Edmund nodded his head, trying to push past the silence.

“I know how you feel. I've had a restless night too. But I’ll leave you to it.” Edmund said, starting off towards the elevator.

“Yeah, oh---hey!” Ben whispered, motioning Edmund closer. “All of us are having a little hang out in my room tonight. Kind of a celebration for your first run, once we’re all refreshed. My room’s next to yours. Is 7 cool?”

Edmund smiled. He suddenly had no idea of what to do with his hands, and settled for shoving them into his jumpsuit pockets. “7 is splendid. I don't know how to thank you---”

“Just be ready to get shit faced. Caleb’s got a mark on you.” Ben said, a smirk tugging at his lips. With that he left, trotting quickly down the hall and into the room next to Edmund’s.

\--  
The clock on the miracle floor was reset, and Edmund watched as the crew mended the battered jaegers in the early light of morning. He had settled for oatmeal, and took it up to the high catwalk Anna had shown him. It had new meaning to him now. From way up here he felt like a bird, observing but uncaring. He felt that he borrowed the sentiment from Anna.

Eating was an absent minded action. Edmund didn't really taste his breakfast, but more or less shoveled it into his mouth while his mind drifted elsewhere.

In his mind’s eye he was tracing the outline of Anna’s face, studying every detail. He had countless memories to draw from, and even considered grabbing his sketchbook from his room to scribble her down onto the page. Edmund shook his head, trying to rattle the thought out of existence. He must stop these thoughts. Anna was beautiful, powerful, and kind; but she was also his copilot. He needed to be there for her in other ways. Edmund couldn't waste her time with these mushy sentiments. Not when the world was ending.

Still…the world _was_ ending.

Would it be so wrong if he slipped into this blissful crush? To pine after Anna in the hopes that if the world should end, he could end it with her? Another thought crossed his mind; _Selah_. Edmund’s hopes came crashing down as Selah’s stern face resurfaced in his mind. He had not even been dead a year. How naive must Edmund be to think Anna would stop grieving for her husband, over someone like him.

Edmund’s spoon hit the bottom of the bowl, sending him back to reality. Helping himself off the floor, Edmund made a decision; though it broke his heart, maybe it was best that he put his feelings aside. Anna deserved better. She deserved love and friendship, and that's what he would offer.

Love and friendship.  
\----  
Edmund had managed to nap most of the afternoon away, though he still felt groggy when a knock came to his door a few minutes before 7. He rushed to open it, finding Anna with her fist still raised to knock. She was in sweatpants and a loose tshirt, her hair up in a messy bun that left stray locks around her face.

“Oh! Anna, hello” Edmund mumbled, trying to smooth down some wayward curls. Anna looked him up and down, her brows knit together.

“You're not going to wear that, are you?”

Edmund felt jilted, and examined himself. “W-what? My jumpsuit?”

Anna shook her head. “Ah that came out wrong. What I mean is, you probably shouldn't wear that. Ben forgot to tell you… When we go drinking at night we wear our pjs.” She was trying to sound as serious as possible, but the subject was so odd.

“Why? If that's ok to ask?”

“New rule we had to put into place when Caleb got so drunk he passed out trying to change out of his suit. He dislocated his shoulder and Washington had a fit. Plus, everything feels like a slumber party I suppose.” A smile tugged at Anna’s lips. “Besides, if you wear that, Caleb and Ben will probably tear it off you and make you sit in your underwear. I'm doing you a favor.”

Edmund quickly ran into the room, changing into some lounge pants and a long sleeve shirt. He did like the idea of being casual, and if what Ben said was true, he’d probably lose the dexterity to unzip his suit at the end of the night.

The two walked over to the next door and knocked. From outside, Edmund could hear the muffled sound of music and light conversation. Anna’s knocking stirred the activity inside, and Edmund hear a faint “I’ll get it”.

“Just in time! Everyone’s here.” Ben said, opening the door wide. Edmund had to do a double take at the sight of Ben’s thighs. He was relieved to see that Ben wasn't bottomless, just wearing shorts that were hidden by the excess fabric of a silk navy button down he was practically drowning in. _They really did mean comfy._

“Aww man, Annie you told him to change! No fun at all.” Caleb cried. Anna pushed her way past Ben and snagged a spot on the bed. “Easy, Caleb. You have plenty of time to come up with some other silly hazing activity.”

Edmund settled in on the floor, where Mary and Peggy had arranged some pillows and bean bags. “Edmund, your pick: rum or vodka?” Peggy said, sporting a bottle in each hand.

“Rum, most definitely.”

Mary was busy pouring out soda into some cups. “Rum and Coke it is, everyone. Let's get in a toast.”

Ben had closed the door, and was making his way to Mary. “There's nowhere for me to sit” he sighed dramatically.

Peggy patted a beanbag “Floor’s yours, sweetie.”

“I'm not going to sit on the floor in my own room”

Caleb straightened up in his chair, and slapped his knee loudly, “Park it here, Tallboy.”

“Bitch, you don't think I will?!”

The room erupted into laughter as Ben tried to cram his long limbed self onto Caleb’s lap, finally resting in a position where Caleb was gripping onto him for dear life.

“Comfy?”

“Most definitely.”

Mary pushed two cups into Ben’s hands. “You’ll do his toast for him, since his hands are _full_.”

Peggy raised her glass, a few drops of the drink splashing over the rim of the glass. “To Edmund and Anna. Back in action, and ready to save our asses.” She cheered.

Edmund blushed, and downed his cup along with his comrades. Ben downed his, while Caleb tried to drink as much as he could from the cup Ben held; a good amount fell down his beard and onto Ben.

“Hey hey watch it. This is my good shirt”

“ _Your_ good shirt? Haha---OW!”

Ben pulled sharply on Caleb’s beard, swearing under his breath. “I'm droppin’ yer ass, Tallmadge.” Caleb laughed, letting Ben and the empty cups tumble off his lap.

“SHIT”

Edmund laughed. This felt amazing. He was never social as a child, and missed out on these sessions as a teen. No one invited him to drink in their room, all huddled around a stolen bottle of booze from their parent’s cupboard. He felt young again.

The idea of kaiju and jaegers slipped from his mind as Mary poured drink after drink. Their conversations became louder, more boisterous. Edmund learned about the time Peggy and Andre snuck off base, only to have Washington send out a red alert, and how they almost managed to sneak back into the Shatterdome. “ _Almost_ ” she giggled into her cup.

He heard Caleb tell the story of how Ben fell through the pond while ice skating, all red nosed and miserable for the New Year. “Just... _bloop_ , an’ he was gone”

By their fourth or fifth cup, Mary was laughing over how she went into labor. Anna was in tears as she recalled how Abe was at the wrong hospital, so Mary did it solo. “Oh god it was awful, she was holding onto my hand and screaming and all I could think was _no good comes from Abe’s dick I swear to god_ ” “At least you were there, Anna.” “Damn straight”

Edmund’s head was swimming. His whole body felt tingly and warm, and his cheeks burned. It took extra effort to hold the cup upright. He did spill a few sips as Peggy and Caleb attempted to copy the choreography to a Backstreet Boys song Mary had put on.

“You’re doing it wrong, Caleb! No wonder Robert broke your nose.” Peggy shouted.

Edmund snorted so hard that his drink came out his nose. “What?!” He cried, wiping the burning sensation away from his nostrils.

Mary piped up, waving her hands wildly. “Ooh! Ooh! Ben and Caleb wrecked Robert’s lab last year dancing to _Singin’ In The Rain!_ Now none of us can watch it anymore.”

“Yeah an’ he broke my nose because Benny ran fer it.” Caleb slurred, slumping onto the bed, winded. “That bastard hates me”

Anna had undone her hair, which fell around her flushed face in soft ringlets. “You boys are always getting into some trouble” Edmund was only half listening to the rest of Anna’s story. Maybe because he’d already seen them all; but mostly because she was so damn beautiful to him right now. It was all pink cheeks and happy drunk glow. She was loose and relaxed, putting her hands into her story. Edmund was completely smitten. His heart skipped a beat when Anna rested her head on his shoulder, letting him bear the weight of her drunkenness.

“Edmund?”

Edmund lurched back into the present. “Yes!” He gasped. Anna clumsily wrapped her arms around him, making herself comfortable.

“How are you not drunk yet?” She mumbled into his shirt. Edmund flushed, and tried to control his breathing.

“It's cuz you let him wear pjs, Annie. Now if he were in his shorts, the way we intended, he’d be throwin’ ‘em back to feel comfortable.”

“That's awful, Caleb”

Peggy was laying down on a bean bag, braiding up Mary’s hair. “He can hold his liquor but can he hold his tea?” She cooed.

Anna rolled her eyes. “Oh, don't you tell me you’re going to bring him to Robert. The man’s a gossip.” Peggy laughed. “Yes, an awful gossip but a valuable part of our team. He's been asking about you, Edmund. Why don't you join us for tea tomorrow?”

Edmund swallowed thickly, trying not to react to the feeling of Anna’s hand sliding down his back. “T-tea would be lovely. I’ll be there. Thank you, Peggy.”

“Mary, darling, will you be there too?”

“No, I have Thomas tomorrow. Next week, though.”

“Then it's just John, Robert and us, Edmund”

Edmund nodded. He swirled his drink in his cup, trying to think of what number he was on. Seven? Was this seven? Seven’s a funny word….

Ben groaned as a slow song came on the little pink speaker. “Caleb, why do you always play Dido?”

“Cuz you got busy to Dido”

 _“I did not_. Stop telling people that. If you're gonna embarrass me, tell the truth at least.”

Mary laughed, and threw a paper ball at Ben. “You know all the words to this song”

“Everyone knows all the words to this song, it's her most famous song”

Edmund shifted as Anna let herself slump over and rest her head in his lap. He tried to control the telltale blush on his face. It didn't go unnoticed, as Caleb caught sight of the two.

“Edmund! You seem like a man who can appreciate some good Dido.”

“I-- wait what? In what sense are you using this artists’ name?”

Caleb waggled his eyebrows.” Y’know. You go out, find someone pretty, play a little Dido to set the mood---”

“Oh! I---”

Ben slapped Caleb upside the head. “We don't play Dido at parties. Are we here to drink or are we here to make out”

“Make out”

“Make out”

“Make out, Tallboy”

Mary and Peggy rolled with laughter as Caleb cupped Ben’s face and planted a rough sloppy kiss on his lips. Ben pulled away, laughing. “Lecherous, all of you.” he said, wiping away some of the spit Caleb had coated his lips in.

Glancing over at the time, Edmund could see it was close to midnight. He could hardly believe they had been here for five hours. It barely felt like a minute. But the night was getting on and the gang was heading past the glow of tipsy and into the unfriendly territory of drunk. Mary was the first to announce it:

“I’m calling it a night. When Ben and Caleb start kissing it means we should wrap it up. Besides, don't want to be hungover when I see Thomas”

“Mommy smells like a bar”

“Fuck you too, Ben”

Peggy was already on her feet and shoving cups into a bag. “We didn't make a mess, that's good. I'll take this out with me.”

Edmund roused Anna, who in this time had gently dozed off in his lap. He didn't want to wake her, but he couldn't spend the night huddled on Ben’s floor. She woke slowly, blinking lazily. Edmund had to catch his breath.

“Anna, it's time to go”

“Let me walk you to your room, Edmund.”

He didn't mind, although it seemed rather silly since his room was right next door. But he would take her up on it nonetheless.

Caleb cupped Ben’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. “My Benny, I want you to go to sleep, ya hear? None o’ this _I’m wired_ shite. No secrets.”

“No secrets. I will.” Ben mumbled. His eyes were heavy with sleep. Edmund felt bad for overstaying. He helped Anna up. She was still a bit tipsy, but not drunk; just a little wobbly in the knees. They parted with a few goodbyes, and walked the few feet to Edmund’s door.

“This is...me… Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back to yours? I don't mind.”

Anna shook her head. “No, no I wanted to walk you home” she whispered.

“How very chivalrous of you.”

Anna smiled a sweet, beautiful smile. Edmund felt that pang of lovesick in his chest. God, how he tried to suppress it. It was incurable. The moments they stood with eyes locked seemed like an eternity. Edmund’s heart skipped a beat as Anna’s eyes dropped from his to linger on his lips.

And just like that...she kissed him.

The sheer shock made Edmund’s knees buckle, but by some miracle he managed to steady himself on her waist. Her lips were soft and warm. Edmund tried his best not to laugh with joy, lest Anna think he was laughing at her. Their moment was brief, as a new sound broke their kiss.

“OOHHHH OHHHH! ANNIE!”

Caleb emerged from Ben’s room, making a fuss. Anna whipped around, yanking herself from Edmund’s grasp. “Fucking Christ, Caleb!”

“I’M TELLIN’”

Caleb sprinted down the hall, swaying drunkenly. Anna sprinted after him, her tipsy self now focused on beating the shit out of Caleb. Edmund stood alone outside his door and caught his breath. His lips still tingled.

Fuck friendship, this tasted so much better.  
\---

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for narcissablaxk!  
> For more of this party that didn't make the chapter, I talk about it on my tumblr: grumblebee-trilogy


	9. Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready to hate me?

Edmund had only been asleep an hour when the wretched noise came. It was a bloodcurdling scream that made Edmund leap off the bed and onto his feet. His eyes searched the room, half expecting to find some ghoulish creature.

It was empty, but the noise persisted.

Another scream, and another, accompanied by the sounds of thrashing. Edmund’s heart raced. It was coming from Ben’s room. Edmund pressed an ear to the wall they shared. From inside he could hear Ben sobbing. The sobs came in uncontrollable waves, crashing down with harsh sucked in breaths and coughs. Edmund feared Ben might vomit from all the heaving.

The screaming was less terrifying than the sobbing, as Edmund could hear the muffled sounds of Ben swearing to himself: “God, oh god. No no no. I can't do this. Please please. I can't _fucking_ do this again.”

Ben had risen off the bed and Edmund heard some clanking. Running from the wall to the peephole in his door, he watched Ben storm out of his room in tears, and head down the hall. Concerned for his safety, Edmund quietly slipped out and followed him.

He kept a safe distance, using the echoing sounds of Ben’s sniffles to trail him. They turned a few corners before coming to a dead end corridor. Edmund got a glance at a room number, 2900. Ben was fumbling with a key in his shakey hands. Finally clicking it open, he wiped his nose on his sleeve and entered. Edmund could hear the sounds of returning sobs, and a gentle cooing noise.

Edmund let out a sigh of relief. “Caleb.” His tension faded away, and drowsiness began to return. Edmund practically crawled back to his room, hating the fact that Caleb’s bunk was so far from the others.

\---  
Thankfully, there was no hangover in the morning. Edmund felt fresh after his first cup of tea. The others, who had no doubtedly poured stronger drinks, we're not as fortunate. Anna hadn't woken up, and Edmund was slightly thankful. He didn't know how to approach their kiss last night.

Still, Peggy’s offer for tea was still on. At around 2, Edmund descended into the bowels of the Shatterdome to meet Robert in his lab. The first thing he noticed was the smell. It smelled stale, with a touch of bleach and formaldehyde. Edmund crinkled his nose at the idea of spending tea time amongst the various odors of kaju rot. But, if someone like Peggy could enjoy tea there-- so could he.

Robert was setting a tea tray down onto a small cafe table. It was next to a large, full wall chalkboard; far away enough from the jars of kaiju organs that Edmund felt comfortable.

“Edmund! How nice of you to join. I took it you slept well after last night’s...endeavors.” Robert said, almost slyly. Edmund laughed nervously, and took a seat. “I always sleep well after a few drinks.” He said, trying to steer the topic away from his drunken kiss.

Robert tutted, and took a seat. “If only the others had your stamina. I could have more guests.” Peggy smiled, “Darling you have no guests because you break their noses”

“He destroyed my lab for a musical number. We’ve discussed this.”

Andre huffed at the thought before turning his attention to Edmund. “At least you passed out last night.” He said. Edmund thought back to the commotion in Ben’s room.

“Not exactly. Ben was in some distress. But he went off to Caleb’s room. Although his room is really far…”

 

“Edmund, what did you say?”

Edmund was puzzled. He didn't think he said anything too scandalous. “Just...that Caleb’s room is really far from the rest of the pilots. Y’know, room 2900.”

Robert and Peggy shared a knowing look, a smile creeping over their faces. Andre set his teacup down abruptly. “Rooms are rooms.” he said curtly. Edmund nodded, not sure whether or not to test the waters. Peggy, however, beat him to it.

“So what exactly happened last night?”

Edmund told them everything. How he had woken to the sounds of Ben screaming, the deep sobbing, and his departure from the room and up to 2900. Peggy’s brow furrowed with concern. “Is he still having that problem?” She whispered, not exactly to herself.

Robert hummed into his cup. “John, I know you said we weren't going to go _there_ , but I fear if we don't Edmund will find out eventually. In less...favorable conditions.” Robert’s voice was low and ominous. Andre was strumming his long fingers on the little cafe table, obviously torn.

“You’ve forced my hand, Robert. This is why no one likes a gossip.”

“Then don't come to my lab and gossip”

Peggy had shaken herself from her train of thought, and dove back into the conversation. “I think the gentlest way to handle this is to give Edmund the full picture. Start from the very beginning.”

Edmund was on the edge of his seat. Anna had been so secretive, and though these three were still very cryptic, they offered him an in. “P-please. If it isn't too much trouble.” He stammered.

Andre sighed, and poured out more tea for the table. “It may not look like it, but we’ve all been here a very long time.” That earned a few amused laughs from Peggy and Robert. Andre smiled, knowing that took off a bit of the tension.

“As you know, General Washington was the first successful two pilot commanders. His copilot was his wife, Martha. Despite losing a few teeth, they actually survived the drift. Not only were they the key to the jaeger program’s success, but they were a powerhouse of information. They became experts at picking the right people for the program.”

Peggy placed a hand on top of Andre’s. “Yes indeed. Before I was a pilot, Martha recruited me as a lead engineer. That's how I met John. And Robert too, though we didn't speak much at first. We’ve all been here since year 1.”

Robert was lazily stirring some cream into his tea, popping into the conversation. “Martha and Washington hand picked the first jaeger teams. Martha, actually, created your little vouch tradition. There's a photo of the two of them sporting those little check marks in Washington’s office. Saccharine but homey, I suppose.”

Peggy swatted Robert, swearing something about insensitivity. She turned back to Edmund to continue.

“That’s how we met Alex and Gilbert. They were the Washington’s pride and joy. Strong and quick, not to mention highly sociable.”

Andre laughed. “Yes yes. I remember having to work twice as hard for your attention when Gilbert was around.” Peggy smiled widely, continuing her thought;

“Besides the obvious flirtations, they were truly good pilots. On a scouting mission, Gilbert ran into Caleb--who was working on jaeger construction in Greenland. Gilbert was impressed, and asked if Caleb had anyone he would personally trust his life with in the pit. Caleb chose Ben.”

Andre nodded, and continued.

“During the time Ben and Caleb were in academy, something awful happened. On an early morning mission outside Sydney, The Washington’s jaeger was wrecked by a kaiju. Martha was dragged out and killed. George survived, but he fell to pieces. It was then that we started to realize how dangerous a two person system is. A widowed pilot is at great risk to themselves. Luckily, Alex was there to help him.”

Robert was done prepping his tea, and paused to interject.  
“ Those two were _very_ close. Practically joined at the hip. Since Washington was still useful, the PPDC didn't discharge him, even though he never set foot into another jaeger. Instead he and Alex poured efforts into new pilots and new machinery. That’s when Gilbert’s recruits graduated.”

Edmund was breathless; obsessed with the information. “Ben and Caleb came?” He babbled. Robert nodded.

“Ben was immediately snatched up by Alex and Gilbert. They became fast friends. Caleb was always social, and he bounced back and forth between pilots and crew. The two quickly made good connections. Then, about 3 years ago it happened…”

Edmund could feel his heart beating wildly. He had to set down his teacup to avoid the rattling sound coming from his trembling hands.

Andre took over, running his thumb over the lip of the cup. His face had turned sullen.

“I was running a 2 team drop outside of Manila. It was Ben and Caleb’s 5th drop. They’d been on a kill streak, and Alex and Gilbert were revving them up for more. Back then their jaeger was Dragoon Titan. Alex and Gilbert piloted the Iron Blue.  
  
The four of them together were a force of nature, but they all had the tendency to be overly cocky about their work. Alex would showboat, and Ben and Caleb would react. They had just fired a few rounds into this kaiju. It fell headfirst into the sea, and we lost the signature. Looked like a standard pop and drop.

The problem was that they were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't hear me when I tried to warn them that the signature had returned. The beast rose up, and gutted Dragoon Titan. It then pinned Iron Blue to the seafloor and detonated the reactor. We lost Alex in seconds. But he did manage to fire off a shot that felled the kaiju.

Dragoon Titan rushed in to try and recover the pilots but there was nothing left. We medevaced them out, and put them in ICU.”

The story made Edmund remember what Andre had said about Seta Five. “50 drops, 49 kills… “ he whispered.

Peggy looked somber. “Washington was crushed. He lost two loved ones in less than a year. We all thought he was going to resign, but he insisted on continuing the program.

Ben wasn't faring well either. He lost weight, became wracked with guilt. They discharged him from ICU, but couldn't do anything about his night terrors. Horrible, screaming fits. Every night he would relive it. Caleb couldn't console him, and soon they had to move Ben’s room away from the other pilots so he wouldn't wake them up. “

Andre shifted uncomfortably, bracing for the end of their tale.

“We all grieved, but those two took it the hardest. One night, I heard Ben banging on George’s door. He was a mess. Frantically apologizing for killing Alex. _Screaming_ for it to stop. I nearly called for the doctor. George took him in to talk. They grieved together.

It worked out for the better. Ben’s night terrors started to drop off the more they talked. We were able to let him rejoin the other pilots in their wing of the floor. If Ben relapsed and had a fit, he would leave and join George. They became close; _much_ closer than Alex had ever been. They worked together, ate together. Soon, Ben wasn't visiting George for night terrors. Now they enjoy certain…. _comforts_ of each other's company.”

Oh.

 **OH**.

A hot flush hit Edmund’s face as he realized what Andre was saying. His throat felt tight, and his collar was stifling. He blushed madly, trying to will away the mental pictures his mind was conjuring.

“A-are you certain?”

Peggy smirked, eyeing Andre’s discomfort. “Oh he’s certain. Anyone within earshot of that room is certain.” “ _The lungs on that boy_ ” Andre muttered into his teacup.

“What about Caleb? Does he know?”

Robert shrugged, his notorious dislike of Caleb fairly evident. “I can't see how he doesn't know. He drifts with Ben, I'm sure he’s seen _everything_ they've done over the past 3 years.” This earned another angry slap on the arm from Peggy.

Peggy leaned over the grab Edmund’s shaking hand. “You can't tell anyone, Edmund. We told you because you're bright and we didn't want you piecing things together too loudly.” Edmund continued to blush as he remembered the dark navy button down that Ben was positively swimming in. How he had felt it was familiar. Yes, he would have pieced it together if he hadn't been so preoccupied with his own desires.

Edmund picked up his teacup, draining it in an attempt to get his throat working again. Peggy relaxed her grip on his hand, giving him a few reassuring pats.

“Caleb knows. We’ve spoken about it. He and Ben share many intimacies, but he’s most grateful that Ben found love and reason to keep fighting. If you had seen Ben after Alex had died, you’d think he was on his way out. No matter how traumatized Caleb was by what happened to Alex and Gilbert, in those few weeks he was most terrified about watching someone he loved wither away. Those two will always love each other. _No secrets.”_

Edmund felt dirty. He silently wished he had remained ignorant to the whole affair. He had robbed Ben of his privacy by engaging in this gossip. Washington too. The man was so reserved, it would shatter him to think know he and Ben were the topic of petty tongue wagging.

Edmund took a moment to look around the table; noting how the three had passed on to lighter conversation. Would he be their next topic once he set foot out of this lab? Most likely. He was never good at hiding his feelings. Robert could read him like an open book. They’d speak in hushed tones about him, and Anna, and Selah. Oh god, Selah. Of how he moved in on some poor grieving widow, and lusted after her despite already being gifted one of the most divine connections too people could have. How greedy he must be for wanting another piece of her already heartbreaking life.

They were a family here, and families talk; Edmund knew this. Yet he had been alone so long he had forgotten how underhanded and sleazy it felt. Hushed family gossip, not malicious, but dripping with scandal. Images of Ben slinking off into the night, instead of finding comfort in a man who shared the same pain as he did. Edmund had to hold back hot tears.

“If you don't mind, I think I’ll take my leave.” Edmund said, forcing a sugared tone. “This has been most intriguing, but I must run a few tests in Delphinus Major. New synapse system.”

Andre smiled, almost as if their heavy conversation had never taken place. “Yes, why don't you try it out. I was working on it last night, it’s glorious.”

Edmund smiled and said a few quick goodbyes. Robert’s voice followed him as he calmly fled from the lab:

“Do stop by again, Edmund. We’re always in need of fresh company.”

 

 

 


	10. Doubt

It’s scary, when you think about it.

The world puts their faith in pilots, stuffs them into metal giants, and expects them to become Gods. From their bunkers they hear noises, and when they emerge they see the their victor; a formidable Titan made of steel and sheer will. But inside, behind the thick plating, they are human.

_Oh, how terrifying to be human_

Desire, trauma, dreams and nightmares. It's painful. It's shameful. It's exhilarating. It grabs even the most level headed and drives them to the brink of madness. Then cram it into five thousand tons of machinery and tell it to be brave. Choke back tears. Not grieve. Not love.

Edmund’s heart wretched as the elevator brought him up away from the lab. He desperately needed air that wasn't the stuffy, musty bowels of the Shatterdome. If he didn't make it towards sunlight, surely he would drown down here.

A sudden noise practically jolted Edmund out of his skin. The elevator had stopped on floor 2, the metal gates clanging open as Caleb stumbled inside. Edmund smirked at the sight of his dark sunglasses.

“Oh no, Caleb. Not well?”

Caleb laughed, a bit pained. “Oh, Hewy. I've been heavin’ all morning. My stomach’s doing flips.” Caleb tripped over his own feet and slammed into the wrought iron cage of the elevator. Edmund quickly righted him.

“Easy, easy. Where are you going? I’ll take you there.”

“Mess hall. Food.”

There was a moment of silence as Caleb leaned heavily the arm Edmund offered him. Edmund noticed a faint bruise on Caleb’s forearm as their arms linked. “You're all banged up, Caleb. Fall in the bathroom?”

Caleb grunted. “Nah, that was all Annie. She’s a fast sprinter, and God help me I got pinned to the floor.” Edmund stiffened at the mention of Anna’s name, which Caleb took notice to. “Speaking of… You two were a little busy last night.” He cooed.

Edmund swallowed thickly. “Caleb, it wasn't anything. She...she was drunk and I was caught off guard. It was a mistake.” Edmund said, trying to convince himself more than Caleb.

Caleb tried to straighten himself up, pulling Edmund’s shirt roughly. “Now don't you say that. I know Annie, and drunk or no, she’s not one to throw herself at men without a good reason.” Edmund searched Caleb’s face for sincerity, but found that difficult with the dark shades hiding most of his face. It was like a damn emotional poker match.

“There's a simple reason. We’re drift compatible, she’s grieving. Maybe our emotions got the best of us and she mistook comfort for something else. Besides, we haven't even known each other long. Not like other people…” Edmund babbled. He felt his blood run cold as Caleb sharply turned towards him.

“Like _what_ other people?”

Edmund looked at the floor, trying to ignore the fact that Caleb had torn off his sunglasses to stare Edmund down. “People...outside...people” he muttered to his shoes. Caleb’s weight on his arm started to feel like a vice, he was trapped.

“Where were you coming up from, Edmund?”

Edmund felt no need to lie. God knows he was terrible at it. “From...tea...at Robert’s” He knew his face told everything he had heard, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Caleb’s expression of recognition.

“That damn bastard told you about Ben, didn't he.” Caleb looked steamed, rubbing his temples roughly. “That lil shite finds all this amusing.” Edmund stayed silent. He knew there was bad blood between Caleb and Robert, and preferred not to stir the pot.

“I'm so sorry, Caleb. I wasn't prying. They told me. I won't tell anyone and I feel just awful. Ben has been nothing but kind to me, and--”

“I'm not mad at _you_ , Edmund. Shite, most people know about Ben. I just...don't like him talking about Ben like that. He talks like he's above it, but he’s not. Did Peggy or Andre bring up the fact that Robert’s been pining after Mary since her husband died? Not likely. It's not as fun for him to talk about when it's his intimacy on the table.”

Edmund felt a pang of guilt. He too was encouraging the gossip, and felt he should be scolded for his behavior. Instead, Edmund let Caleb continue.

“And I bet he made me out as some cuckold. Poor Caleb, whose partner left an’ crawled into someone's bed after they both were traumatized. Well here’s something he didn't tell you: Ben tells me everything. No secrets. Been that way since we were kids.  
No one talks about how Ben comes to my bunk, and gushes over how happy they are. That seeing him smile into his pillow makes me so happy I don't know what to do with myself. No one talks about how I thank every God anyone’s ever thought of that my Benny is alive. That losing him would mean I've failed as a friend. I've loved Ben Tallmadge since I was 7 years old, and I’m going to protect him until I'm dead.”

Caleb’s voice was raw and cracking. Edmund could feel tears pricking at his eyes as he listened.

“I'm not brave, Caleb.”

Caleb broke out of his rant and cocked his head. “What?”

“I’m not brave, like _you_ ”

The elevator had stopped, and Edmund moved to exit, only to be stopped by Caleb’s arm. “Edmund.”

“I’m _not_ , ok?! I'm not brave. You love Ben. You tell everyone you meet, even without saying a word. And he trusts you and loves you. But I’m not you. I am leftovers. I was not first picked by Washington. I was not even in control on our first drop. It was all Anna. And I can't protect her from anything. And if...if... _Robert_ said anything, I don't know if I could handle it. I would embarrass her.”

The two were silent for a moment, with only the gentle rattle of the elevator gate to distract them.

“It's not about being brave, Edmund. It’s about...love. There isn't a moment I'm not scared of what they're saying, or what new kaiju is going to breach. But when the time comes, I'm there. Old Georgie, too. You go where your heart is.”

Edmund was still staring intently at his boots. He felt sick. God did he want to be there for Anna. He wanted to rise above it all and be a man she could be proud of. One she could possibly love. Yet the shame and the fear consumed him. Edmund wiggled the remaining toes on his bad foot as a sore reminder. He was a coward.

“Annie must really like you. I really mean it. I've seen countless guys throw themselves at her, and she’s beaten down each and every one. You’ve gotten to her somehow...isn't that worth taking a look at?”

Edmund wiped away a tear on his sleeve. He felt her lips against his, and smelled her sweet perfume. His cheeks burned hot as he remembered how briefly happy he was with his hands on her waist, leaning in to deepen their kiss. But it was quashed by the shame he felt down in that lab. The fear he felt knowing he was under a microscope, where everyone could see his misgivings. The shame of the happiness he was sullying for good friends.

“I don't know. Please, just get out.” Edmund said, jamming his finger onto a random button. Caleb quickly stepped out before the gate closed, and the roar of the mess hall crept into the elevator.

“Edmund, c’mon…”

“NO Caleb...just...no”

Edmund tried to hold back tears as the box descended, and Caleb stared down at him through the metal grating. He felt hot and flustered, but couldn't deal with going up for air anymore. He needed to get to his room, lie down, and forget this day ever happened.

As soon as the gates rattled open, Edmund walked briskly down the hall, furiously wiping away hot tears. His vision blurred and doubled. Rounding a corner, he saw two figures striding up the long hallway. His stomach lurched as he recognized the figures of Ben and Washington through his glassy vision.

Edmund frantically dabbed at the tear streaks, trying his best to erase them. He needed to look ok, to reset his face and make believe he didn't know everything. The two were now dangerously close.

Washington’s gaze was fixed on a file in his hands, scanning and walking briskly. Ben was studying Washington’s face, but turned his gaze to Edmund when he heard his clunky footsteps. Edmund felt his heart pound as the inevitable happened.

Ben took one look at his face, and his features tensed into a look of confusion. Then came the almost crestfallen look of realization, as Edmund’s face told every fucking detail he had heard. Edmund braced himself for the next reaction. He couldn't bare the embarrassment Ben would feel.

Yet…it was something else entirely.

Ben smiled a sweet, innocent smile. He silently raised a finger to his lips, then dropped his hand over his heart.

And Edmund’s heart skipped a beat, and he instinctively mimicked the gesture. Ben’s smile grew wider, his cheeks pink. It was raw and tender, and Edmund felt his breath taken from him as he recalled all the things Caleb had said in the elevator. Ben trusted him. Blindly, but he trusted _him_.

Now far down the hallway, Washington folded up the papers, seemingly unaware that Edmund had passed them at all. He handed Ben the documents, and mumbled a few words before tenderly stroking Ben’s cheek and placing a kiss on his forehead.

_Isn't it worth trying?_

To risk your whole life, your reputation, your very soul, just to experience something you can feel in your bones. Is it worth trying, so that when you’re crammed into that thousand ton machine, you're not alone? That someone loves you, and stands by you. That they know all your fears and secrets. Is it worth trying, so that you might live another day just to kiss them goodbye before work. And when the time comes...be brave for them.

Edmund was left standing in the empty hallway, his hand still resting on his heart where Ben left it.

_By God. It's worth it._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more Delphinus Major stuff to read! You can check out "Top Bunk" for some of the drabbles I put together. It runs parallel to the events in this fic.   
> You can also suggest prompts or ask questions on tumblr: @grumblee-trilogy   
> (Any ask box stuff needs to be sent to @bifrostbite)   
> Not all the drabbles/challenges/headcanons get posted in Top Bunk. So if you'd like to talk to me or get a prompt done, tumblr is the easiest way.


	11. No time

“ _Edmund?”_

_The air smelled like smoke and something horribly charred. Edmund’s head was pounding, so much so that he had to fight to open his eyes. Cracking them open was a mistake. He was bombarded with flashes of a whole picture. The charred remains of a kaiju. Sheared remains of a jaeger, spouting sparks and oil. Screaming. Horrible screaming._

_Edmund’s cheek lay on the concrete, torn up by the glass littering the streets. He couldn't move. He couldn't do anything but look directly in front of him._

_“Edmund…”_

_Anna was tangled in the remains of her harness, cheek similarly pressed to the ground. She was small and trembling, with blood streaked across her face in crude jagged lines. Edmund managed to move his eyes lower, glimpsing the shrapnel that had impaled her. Tears stung his eyes._

_“Edmund, I think I’m going to die.”_

Edmund woke with a start, grasping at his bedsheets. He quickly rose, wiping away some tears that has escaped him during the nightmare, and headed to the washroom.

The faucet started, but Edmund couldn't bring himself to freshen up. Instead he stood grasping at the ceramic sink, trying to focus on the rush of water and not the screams echoing in his mind.

A knock on his door jolted Edmund upright. He switched off the water and headed to the door. Anna was outside, leaning up against the door frame.

“Edmund open up.”

Edmund gently eased the door open. Anna smiled, and entered the room. “You look horrible. One two many last night?” She said, taking a seat in the chair pulled up to his tiny desk. Edmund could see the circles under her eyes, and a pair of sunglasses hooked into her shirt pocket.

“I see you and Caleb are in the same boat.” Edmund laughed.

Anna leaned back into her chair. “Oh yeah. I just woke up...you?”

“This has been the longest day of my life.”

Edmund settled down on his unmade bed, tucking his knees up to his chest. The silence crept back in, making Edmund wish the faucet was still running.

“Edmund...I...think we should talk”

Anna sighed, and straightened up. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable last night. It's been awhile since I’ve done one of these nights with the others. But I didn't mean to be leaning and tripping all over you.”

Edmund listened patiently, waiting for her to bring up the kiss. Anna picked at the hem of her sleeve nervously. “And...before Caleb came out...I, uh…”

Edmund leaned over and put a hand on her knee. He felt bold in doing so, but didn't want her to apologize for it. “Anna, it's ok. I don't...mind it” he said. Anna looked up from her sleeve, a look of relief on her face.

“That makes me feel a little better, Edmund. I know we’re copilots, and I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea.”

Edmund’s heart sank in his chest. The wrong idea. He’d been foolish to think he was the right idea. Or to take Caleb’s heartfelt comments with so much merit. This woman was _grieving_. She was cut off and desperate for affection. She was drunk.

Edmund retracted his hand. “Of course.” He said, masking his heartbreak with a honeyed tone. Anna quickly moved on to the next subject.

“That isn't the only reason I’m here, Edmund. Ben sent me down here… Apparently, Washington is calling a meeting. We’re going to end this war.”  
\---  
Unlike other interactions in the Shatterdome, this one was tense and somber.

Edmund had rushed to freshen up, and Anna took him up to a small conference room. Ben and Caleb were already seated, looking over a packet on the long communal table. Robert was scribbling away on the chalkboard, muttering to himself as he tried not to mess up the equation. Mary and Peggy arrived soon after, worry set into both their fine features.

The six pilots took their seats, staring numbly at one another as Robert continued to scratch at his work. Edmund felt like his heart was in a vice. Finally, his ears were greeted by the sound of footsteps, and Washington strode in with Andre close behind.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is no surprise to you that we have come to this conclusion.” Washington started, taking a seat at the head of the table. Andre settled in next to him, briefly stopping to squeeze Peggy’s shoulder.

“From Day 0 we knew that the jaeger program was a temporary solution. As successful as it is, there comes a time where we must explore other options. Look around. You six are the only remaining jaeger pilots this earth has to offer.”

The pilots exchanged looks, acknowledging the sobering fact that they are,indeed, responsible for this planet.

“In reality, we have been biding our time. But taking time costs us. Many of you at this table have seen just how steep the price can be.” Washington said somberly. Edmund noted how Anna, Ben and Mary dipped their heads.

“So here is our ultimatum. We must destroy the breach once and for all.”

Peggy cleared her throat. “Pardon me, sir, but haven't we tried this already? The breach won't collapse.”

Robert turned away from his equation. “There may be a solution. From the data we’ve gathered, we’ve deduced that if we can destroy the breach from the throat, we can collapse it. Previous attempts have just been a stabbing at the gaping maw on our side.”

Caleb shook his head. “Oh a stabbin’, alright. Did you put in your equation that we haven't managed to pass anything through that gaping maw? The last nuke we dropped slid right off.”

Robert clicked his tongue. “If you would let me do my job, _Caleb_. The breach only opens to a kaiju signature. We’ve only witnessed them exit because our first response is to kill them. But, upon completing a mission, they must return to their realm. I propose we copy the signature. Hook a kaiju, and force it through the breach.”

Mary’s face twisted. “ _It’s a suicide mission_ ” she gasped. The pilots stirred restlessly.

“I’ll do it.” Ben said, cutting through the tension.

“ _No you will not._ ” Washington hissed.

“It is _not_ a suicide mission. Townsend, Andre and I have gone over the schematics. The three of you together can intercept a kaiju breaching. We can make modifications to harpoon the beast, and you can lower it into the breach with the cargo load.”

Anna bit her lip. “Then you mean to have us camp at the sea floor for a kaiju to breach.”

Andre passed out a chart. “Not exactly. According to Robert’s algorithm, the double event was just the beginning of the end. The weeks in between breachings have been slowly shortening. We predict they will soon be coming every few days.”

Washington sighed. “I know this is a lot to ask of you. This job, this calling, it takes everything from you, with only the slim chance of you coming out the other side. But we no longer have options. Your jaeger breaks, there's no time to fix it. Your pilot falls, there's no one left to replace them. _Time_ is our greatest enemy. Even if we are perfect---flawless--- they will keep coming faster, and stronger, until we crumble. Then what? We watch our homes burn. We lose our place in this universe. We accept that the sacrifices made by those we loved most were in vain.”

Edmund watched as Washington subconsciously rubbed the spot where his wedding band should reside.

“This is the edge of our existence. I need all of you now more than ever. Lean on each other. Be who the world needs you to be.”

Mary was sniffling softly as Washington rose from the table. Edmund looked over to Anna, her head bowed in silence, pinching her eyelids shut to block the tears. He slipped his arm around her elbow, offering a supportive squeeze.

A few closing remarks were made, but lost on Edmund’s ears. He felt as if he were underwater, gazing through glassy eyes at the somber ragbag of people assembled to save the world. He locked eyes with Ben, gauging the fear in the young man’s eyes. Edmund ripped his gaze away as Caleb wrapped Ben into a tight hug. Ben sobbed quietly into the crook of Caleb’s neck. Edmund tightened his grip on Anna, trying to control her shaking.

Peggy hastily wiped some tears that ran down her cheeks, one arm grasped firmly on Mary, who was sobbing into the desk.

“My God…” She whispered “This is it”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Delphinus Major stuff can be found on my tumblr @grumblebee-trilogy. I answer prompts/requests that get published here on AO3 in the companion fic "Top Bunk"


	12. Of Sound Mind And Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit content for just the first segment of this chapter

_I, being of sound mind and body, do leave this as my last will and testament_.  
\--  
**Benjamin Tallmadge**

Ben ground down into George’s lap, matching the thrusts that doubled him over to rest in the crook of his lover’s neck. “There...right _there_ ” he gasped between eager moans.

George tightened his grip on a fistful of Ben’s hair, increasing speed. Ben nipped at his neck, eliciting a deep moan. It rumbled close to his ear, driving shivers up his spine. He needed this. He needed to forget the awful feeling of dread that left the conference room that afternoon. The way the pilots cried. The way George hissed at his volunteer effort. He needed George to take that pain away from him as he’d done countless times before, and replace it with toe curling pleasure.

“Oh _George_. This is it-- this is it--”

“Don't--” George started. Ben gritted his teeth, trying to slow down his body.

“I'm trying...but it's so close”

“No, _don't_ “

“Don't?”

Ben's mind could hardly wrap around the word as George kept up his pace. George gripped Ben’s hips tightly, pulling him down hard onto his cock.

“ _Don't leave me_ ”

Ben’s vision went white, and he trembled as he tried to regain his breath. Despite George having finished, Ben noticed he was still gripping onto him tightly.

“George, what…”

George’s hands shook ever so slightly. “I can't, Benjamin. I can't...I'm not...I'm not _strong_ enough.”

Ben pulled away from George’s shoulder. George’s usual strong expression was cracked. Tears welled in his eyes, catching the light of the bunker. He was terrified. Raw.

“Benjamin, you must _promise me_. Promise me you will come home.” He croaked, his voice betraying him. Ben raised a hand to clear the fat tears rolling down George’s face; but settled on peppering his wet cheeks with kisses.

“I, Benjamin Tallmadge, promise to return home. To you, right here. In these arms.” Ben whispered between soft kisses. George sniffled quietly, repeating Ben’s name as if to commit it to memory.

“Benjamin, I _love_ you”  
\--  
**Caleb Brewster**

Caleb set down the small box he had tucked underneath his bed. It was old and worn in a way that made Caleb smile fondly. Sitting cross legged on the duvet, he clicked it open.

“Been a while, but still good.” He muttered, gazing down at the trove of personal treasures. Yellowed and creased photographs, messily scribbled notes, birthday cards, bobbles; the box was brimming with fond memories.

Caleb shuffled around, picking up an old photo he hadn't seen in years. It was him, and Ben, fresh faced high school graduates. The summer he said goodbye to Setauket for Greenland, and Yale man Benny. He flipped the photo over, smiling warmly at the sight of Ben’s handwriting.

  
_You're my best friend. No words can tell you how much I’ll miss you while you're saving the world. When you win the war, come straight home._

_All my love,  
Benjamin Brewster._

Caleb laughed, remembering how Ben crossed out Tallmadge and replaced it with Brewster. That they were family and inseparable. He remembered sleeping with the idea of Benjamin Tallmadge-Brewster under his pillow as he sailed for Greenland.

He kept other things too. The place card from Anna and Selah’s wedding, Thomas’ stick figure drawings, Gilbert and Alex’s mix tapes, some bows Peggy once put in his beard. All of which he turned over in his hands slowly, savoring every fine detail.

At the edge of our existence, who would need this when he was gone? Who would preserve the people he loved most, and who had given him the best years of his life.

Caleb reached into his bedside drawer for a bottle of whiskey. Tears pricked at his eyes. If they didn't win, it really wouldn't matter would it? His memories would be charred, and returned to the earth as he would. But still...

“It was worth it. Every last bit o’ it”

\--

**Peggy Shippen**

“Why don't you just move in?” Peggy cooed, running her fingers through the head in her lap. Andre hummed, pleased by thought.

“You mean every night I’ll get to sleep in a warm bed? No dripping ceiling. No noise cancelling headphones.” He chuckled.

Peggy continued working her fingers through his fine hair. “Appealing, isn't it? I won't even mind the way you snore and snort in your sleep.”

“I only snore because I hardly sleep in my room, thanks to George.”

“The man’s in love, darling. Can't you make an exception?” Peggy frowned at the little defiant “ _humph_ ” that escaped Andre, as of contesting the “in love”. “Then maybe we have different ideas of love, hmm? Maybe you don't love me” she teased.

Andre rose off her lap, cupping her cheek in his hand. “Don't _ever_ say that.” He said sternly. Peggy smiled, knowing she had hit a nerve. “I mean it, Peggy. Not even as a joke. If something happened, I would die thinking you believed that. Please…”

Peggy sighed, and stroked the hand caressing her face. “I know. I'm sorry. It was just to tease you...since you will be taking me up on that offer”

Andre’s stern countenance broke, his smile returning. “That I will. Please warn poor Mary that she will be inheriting my noise cancelling headphones.”

“Do they work?”

“Not as well as you'd like”

\--  
**Mary Woodhull**

Mary tried to sit patiently as Robert poured out their tea. Every passing second was agony, amplified by the smells of hot water and faint rot.  
She inhaled sharply as one of her nails dug a bit too deep into her palm.

“Robert, please just sit down.”

Robert paused from his work, worrisome, but he complied. He settled into the chair next to her at the small cafe table. “Mary, dear, what's troubling you?” Mary couldn't bring herself to words. “Is it the meeting? I know it was a bit gloomy, but--”

“I need you to take Thomas.”

Robert stopped in his tracks, face slack, but not appalled. Mary took that as a sign to continue. “We’ve got no one left. No blood family. Abe died before Thomas was a year old. He likes you. He...he thinks…” Mary stopped to catch her breath, fighting tears.

“Last week when you had tea, and I took Thomas out, and he asked where Papa was. I was about to talk about Abe, but...he asked why Papa was always in the lab.”

“Mary…”

“Oh god this is _stupid_! Just-- I’m sorry I brought it up. I couldn't burden you like this, Robert. I'm embarrassed I even asked, I just---”

“I’ll do it.”

Mary quieted, tears rolling down her face. She looked up at Robert. In all the time she had known Robert, Mary had studied each and every face he made. The false ones, the masks he used to keep the others out...this wasn't it. This was genuine. Loving.

“Mary, little Thomas means the world to me. Both of you have been so kind...and patient...especially with me. The fact that he considers me a father is…” Robert trailed off, voice cracking slightly.

“You are a strong pilot. I do not doubt you will live to see the end of this war. But if, by some act of God, you pass on, it would be my honor to raise Thomas.”

A heavy sob escaped Mary, relief washing over her. Robert tentatively wrapped an arm around her shoulders, letting her shrug into his embrace. He shushed her softly as she cried over the favor she had asked. She felt grateful. She knew Thomas would wake up each day loved and cared for. She prayed Thomas would remember her, if only for a few seconds every day.

“Come now, let's dry those tears and I’ll grab the cookie tin. I bought your favorites.” Robert whispered. Mary nodded, the warmth from Robert and the hot tea cup dispersing the numbness in her chest.

“You bought the rainbow sprinkle ones?”

“Two whole pounds of it”

\--  
**Anna Strong**

The chilly tap water couldn't disperse the puffy redness in Anna’s face. How long had it been? 3..4 hours of crying? After the meeting Anna had promptly ripped herself from Edmund’s arm and stormed to her room. She felt a bit guilty, but it couldn't sway her overwhelming sadness.

“We’re over this shit.” Anna said through gritted teeth, splashing her cheeks another time. That was a bold faced lie. She wasn't over anything...not really. She had felt numb when Selah passed, but as the months ticked on, and new candidates arrived, the wound opened. Fresh pain for her to feast on.

They weren't supposed to replace Selah. They weren't her husband. They were coworkers. She was obligated to at least try and move on for the cause. Yet she held out.

Anna slumped into the bed, tears returning to her eyes. Part of her wished Edmund was here. Maybe just so she wouldn't be alone. Maybe because he had seen what she’d been hiding, and wouldn't be scared to see her cry.

It was something intimate. Only a handful of people had ever seen her cry. She felt like Edmund could handle it. In her mind she imagined he’d be patient, let her sob out the most painful part. Then as the heaving died down, he’d rub soft circles into her back, and whisper about nothing. He wouldn't have to convince her everything would be ok, or that life gets better. He would just let the sadness happen, and be there until it passed.

Anna buried her face into the pillow. It was embarrassing. She had kissed him. What was she thinking? Drift compatibility is personal, but he’s not her husband. The word stuck in her head. Husband. He was just being kind to her. He pitied her. Just a poor widow who was a hair away from losing her job, just in time for the end of the world.

Just in time for the end of the world, with no shoulder to lean on. Anna was sure the others were confiding in one another. Ben was probably getting fucked into next week. The thought made her laugh, she could hardly remember what that was like. The faint tingle of heat in her veins was the only slim reminder.

What she really missed was the sense that someone feared for her. The way Washington scolded Ben for his stupid self sacrifice. Someone to curb her self destructive urges with concern. Without it life felt bland. She wasn't fighting for anyone. There was no plan for after the war.

Anna felt sleep creep up on her, her eyes slowly sliding shut. This was a suicide mission. As much as she loved her friends, she knew what had to be done. There was going to be one last sacrifice.

She would do it for them.  
\--  
**Edmund Hewlett**

He shouldn't be here. He should be with Anna.

Edmund probably told himself that a hundred times over the past few hours. Yet he knew Anna. She was protective. Get too close, prod too much, and she would shatter the relationship.

Edmund bided his time, briefly spending time with Caleb. Their normal light hearted conversation couldn't loosen the knots in his stomach. It felt like he was waiting for his execution. Caleb had offered for him to come back to his bunk and talk privately, but Edmund declined. He said he had some things he needed to get into order.

It wasn't a complete lie. Edmund did tick away the hours going through his things. He didn't have any close family, so the problem of divvying up his belongings never arose. Instead he read a few passages from his favorite books. He stuck his nose into the spine, eyes fluttering close at the smell. It made his heart swell. These were his family for as long as he could remember. Pirates and adventurers, creatures that stalked and brave citizens rising up. They kept Edmund company through his lonelier years.

It was a shame the world was ending. These books would be left idle, unread. The thought made Edmund tear up. He had dreamed of growing old, reading to his child in his lap. When they got older, they would read the notes in the margins and add their own. It was a silly thought. Even without the apocalypse rising, he wasn't anywhere close to desired. A family would be a box he couldn't check off.

Edmund thought back to his kiss with Anna. He had been so sure she liked him. It felt so real. But it was the alcohol. Edmund sighed. If he were younger, maybe a bit more intact, things might be different. Anna might be the woman he shared these books with. A family even.

Edmund tried to push the thought from his mind. He idly flipped through the pages of his worn copy of All Quiet On The Western Front. His eyes lingered over the scene of Paul lamenting over the French soldier in his shell hole.

_Victims of war._

Before all of this, that scene had always touched Edmund. Now, it meant the world to him. Only instead of finding humanity in an enemy, Edmund was struggling to preserve humanity in his own shell hole. The cramped cockpit of Delphinus Major was a refuge, and those who jumped inside for cover were at risk. He was lucky that unlike Paul, Anna did not stab him as he threw himself in for cover.

The book was set aside. Edmund couldn't focus on it anymore. It just wasn't fair. He had just proven himself. Gained a new family and purpose in life. Met Anna…

And now the world was ending.

Edmund jumped up, throwing this books back on the shelf before speeding out the door. His feet were taking him against his will. He wasn't going to end the world without knowing for sure. His hands knocked loudly on the door until it opened.

“Edmund?”

Edmund cupped Anna’s face in his hands, and kissed her.

Anna pulled him into the room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see more Delphinus Major stuff on my tumblr @ grumblebee-trilogy. Prompt requests can be done there, and some are published in the companion fic Top Bunk.  
> Feedback is always appreciated! Let me know you had a good time.


	13. Malfunction

It was frantic. Kissing and pulling as Edmund was dragged into the room, Anna’s breath ragged as her hands gripped his shoulders. 

“Anna, I--I”

“I know. I'm scared too”

Their lips crushed together once more and Edmund thought they would draw blood. But the moment passed as Anna’s words hung in the air. They were scared. They were utterly horrified. 

Panting, Anna broke away to sit on the bed, her head dropping to her hands. “Oh, Edmund. I'm sorry this is...this is crazy, isn't it?” She whispered. Her shoulders shook slightly, and Edmund could see tears falling down her cheeks. “We’re  _ scared. _ This isn't...this isn't  _ real.” _

Edmund cautiously took a seat next to Anna. He had come here with the intention of making his feelings known. To chase that chance of happiness in the final weeks of their world. Sitting here now he wondered if it would sound desperate, or manipulative, to ask that Anna spend the remainder of their lives in good company with him. 

“I can assure you this is very real, Anna.” He began. “I've had sort of a...disappointing life. The end of the world never seemed horrific to me because, well, there wasn't much for me here already. And maybe that's selfish--but that's the nature of the human race. We are selfish.” 

Anna stared down at her hands, and Edmund slipped his into hers. “Which is why I can tell you wholeheartedly that  _ this _ ...us, I mean, is the realist connection I've ever had. I want to see a world where Anna Strong isn't a pilot, because she doesn't  _ need _ to be. I want to...be there to see it with her.” 

This was harder than Edmund expected. The longer he talked the more absurd it sounded. Anna looked up, eyes wet with tears. “Will you stay here tonight?” She asked. Edmund’s face flushed, mouth opening and closing in search of a proper answer. “Nothing obscene, I just need someone to  _ be here. _ ” 

Edmund relaxed his hand, rubbing soft circles into Anna’s palm. 

“It would be my honor.”

* * *

3:30 am, in the control room, Edmund rubbed his eyes. His heart had not stopped racing since the alarms blared thirty minutes ago. Another double event. He and Anna had rushed to watch, ever vigilant. 

Anna had woken only a split second after him, eyes wide and panicked as de heard the announcement that all pilots be on deck. Washington was cautious, and with his grim reminder that the world was coming to a close, he didn't grant anyone the luxury of sleep. Not when it could shave minutes off of someone’s life. 

“Mercy Depths, you are locked on target. Wait for Seta Five.” Andre said into the microphone. Washington stood over his shoulder, lips pressed together tightly. It didn't take Edmund long to see he hadn't slept tonight. It took even less time, and a few red marks along his jaw, to figure why.

“Tallmadge, Brewster, I need you to focus.” Washington barked, eyes tracing the little blip on screen. “Kaiju is at your 5. Ready yourself for impact.”

“Yes, sir---”

Edmund flinched as a thunderous crack pierced through the speakers.

“Seta Five!”

“Here, sir. We were broadsided. Mercy is on our 6”

Anna rubbed her temples, brow furrowed with worry. “It's been thirty minutes. Not one felled kaiju.” She whispered. “We should be out there.” 

Washington threw her a look, and she quieted. “I cannot afford to send my whole team.” He said. “But be ready in case---”

“In case someone dies, Sir?” Anna bit back, fists now clenched. Washington did not respond. He returned his attention to the screen, jaw set firmly. Edmund could see the minute motions of teeth grinding as he watched the fight. 

“Anna, please…” Andre sighed, fingers tapping at the board. “This is hard enough without fighting here in the control room. Let's focus on the jaegers.” 

“I'm not a child.”

“And yet you  _ act _ like one, Mrs. Strong.” Washington snapped. “We are  _ all _ tired. We are  _ all _ scared. Now I don't have the faintest idea what's gotten into you in the past 12 hours, or why all of my goddamn pilots treat this as a suicide mission instead of a  _ routine _ run we have done dozens of times, but I suggest you drop it. If you cannot behave here, you cannot behave out there and  _ that  _ is where people will die. Now have I made myself clear?!” 

“Direct hit! Kaiju signatures lost.” Andre shouted, interrupting the terse argument beside him. “Bring it on in, guys.”

Washington sighed, closing his eyes. “Good work, everyone. Sleep while you can.” 

The sense of community in the Shatterdome had been strained since Washington announced his final plan. Techs leaving the control room didn't stop to pay each other on the back, congratulating themselves on a fight well fought. Now it was futile. They scraped past this one. There'd be another, and another, until they didn't win. Then it would be a quick tailspin. This win only prolonged the inevitable. 

Nobody believed nuking the breach would do anything. No amount of numbers or theories could shake that doubt. Robert Townsend returned to his lab, the same as always, but now it seemed everyone shared his bleak outlook on life. All of this in  _ 12 fucking hours. _

Edmund was walking past C Deck when he heard it. 

“Hold still, hold  _ still _ , Captain Shippen!” 

Crew swarmed the loading dock, hazmats suits abundant. From behind the clear plastic curtain they'd hung Edmund could see the problem. The cabin door of Mercy Depths had been crushed, unable to open more than two feet. Unharnessed, Mary and Peggy peeked under the door on their knees. The outside of the jaeger was coated in blue, a thick visceral layer that fell off in globs.

“Like  _ hell _ we’re waiting!” Peggy shouted. “This shit is toxic--”

“You can't squeeze through without being coated. You're safer in there.” A frazzled tech explained. Men readied a hose, while others stood ready with the jaws of life. “We need to rinse it before we can cut you out.”

Mary pounded her armored fist against the floor. “We  _ told _ you these doors were faulty. You're lucky we didn't fucking pop out there. The fumes off this blue is toxic, you spray water and you push it all in here. Our lungs will be coated before you shear anything. Get Washington--”

“M’am, if you’ll just bear with us--”

“GET WASHINGTON”

By the time Washington arrived Mary was close to pulling a tech through the crumpled gap in the door.

“What is the  _ meaning _ of this?!”

Mary scowled, eyes glaring at the gaggle of techs lingering around. “Our door, the one I've complained about for  _ weeks _ , is defective. It took a hit, and won't open past this point. Dumb and dumber over there want to power blast the blue off of the door, and straight into this fucking cabin, instead of just letting us squeeze through.”

Washington turned his attention to the techs. “Can the door be resealed for you to hose it down?” 

“No, sir. It's unresponsive. It's stuck there.” 

Edmund watched as Washington surveyed the cockpit door, examining each wrinkle in the steel. He kept his sleeve over his face, pressed flush against the plastic of the curtain. Finally he spoke. “Crawl through.”

“But sir--”

“The longer they're in there the more exposure we risk. Put your helmets on, wriggle through as quickly as you can. We’ll send you straight to medical.” 

Edmund held his breath as he watched the scene unfold. Peggy crawled out first, feet slipping through the crack. As she shimmied out of the opening, a thick visceral glob of blue slid onto her suit. “Oh, god. Gross.” It was grotesque, a thick curtain of blue slime that clung to the armor of her suit. Mary clambered out next, narrowing missing a still sizzling chunk of flesh as it peeled itself from the cockpit door.

“Get them to a quarantined medical tent. And someone from engineering get in here immediately.” Washington snapped, heading off the deck. He paused briefly to make eye contact with Edmund, giving a short curt nod that said  _ get back to your room. _ Edmund felt more than happy to slip away from the scene and to his own room, however damp and cold it was. 

* * *

The next two days trudged by rather slowly, with all the pilots falling into a somber routine. They would wake, and eat. Then head to the fitness center and keep themselves occupied. Anna and Caleb would spar, while Ben ran laps. Edmund worked on his footwork, putting in hours on a balance beam. With the loss of a few toes, he needed to work extra hard on his balance. He stepped gingerly, placing one foot in front of the other. He weighed himself down, holding a bar across his shoulders. 

“Looking good, Edmund. Better every day.” Mary said, wiping down her brow with a towel. Edmund felt a pang of regret that he did not sweat as noticeably as his companions. 

“Thank you, Mary.” He said, before using the bar across his shoulders to point at a line of weights. “Can you pass me two 5lbs?” She picked up the weights, sliding them on each side of the bar as Peggy waltzed over. 

“Atta girl, Mary. Always here to help.” she cooed, her shirt soaked through with sweat. Edmund smiled, readjusting the bar on his shoulders.

“She’s a tremendous help.” 

Peggy sipped her water, watching as Anna and Caleb finished their set. “She’s doing well, too.” she murmured. Out of the corner of his eye Edmund couldn’t help but notice her studying Anna. “Although she’s lost quite a bit of weight. That can’t be too good. 

Mary shrugged. “You know Anna. She spends most of her time in the weight room. It’s nothing she can’t handle.”

Peggy sighed, smoothing back some hair that had fallen from the messy bun atop her head. “Maybe she should spend a little less time here, and more time with Selah.” she jested. But that was just it...a jest. Edmund whirled around, losing his footing and falling from the balance beam. He hit the floor hard, the resounding smack sending Anna and Caleb running. Mary was eying Peggy, her face blanched.

_ “What did you just say?” _

Peggy threw Mary a quizzical look. “Is it shocking that a woman should spend time with her husband?”

“Peggy, Selah is  _ dead _ ,  _ you know this--” _

“What’s happened? Edmund?!” Anna cried, running to help scoop him off the floor. Edmund tried to shove her away from Peggy. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into her, but it couldn’t be pleasant. 

“Dead? No, he’s her  _ co-pilot _ . A little bleak, sure. But  _ dead _ …”

Caleb outstretched his hands. “She looks really pale, guys.” He turned and waved down Ben.    
“Benny! C’mere, we need you!”

The longer Edmund looked at Peggy, the sicker she looked. The sheen of sweat on her brow, the way it soaked through her shirt, it didn’t seem healthy. Her eyes were glassy,moving to and fro lazily. Caleb helped ease her to the ground, despite frantic rambles from Peggy that she was fine. “You’re not fine.” Mary said, wetting a towel. “Peggy, something is wrong.” 

Anna looked on in horror as Ben trotted up. “What’s happened?” he panted. Anna’s voice shook, tears pricking her eye.   
“I don’t...know…”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi chapter and I'm really excited with how it's going. Next chapter , Edmund deals with his new partner. Thanks to Narcissablaxk for the prompt. I hope it lives up to your dreams.


End file.
